Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 4)

5 My Most Beloved Person's Name

For the first time in weeks, Jing Yi felt completely rested. It gave him the illusion that he would be able to achieve anything right now. He didn't act on the impulse, though, and continued to lie there, his thoughts wandering.

He had agreed to marry Qiu Ling but up until now, he hadn't felt much anticipation for that time. Wouldn't it be the same whether they were married or not? They spent every day with each other anyway. Traveling together, wasn't that also a proof of the feelings they shared between them?

But at this moment he finally understood. It wasn't the same. The type of feeling he had now was completely different from what he had experienced on their travels. He felt especially warm and secure right now. It was as if they were a family. There was someone beside him he could trust, some who would take care of him.

When had somebody bothered to cover him with a blanket the last time? When had somebody stayed next to him and held him in his arms? He remembered exactly: It had been when he was a child and that person had been his mother. Now, there was Qiu Ling.

I really am lucky. Even though father isn't there anymore, I still have my mother and I even had the fortune to meet someone like Qiu Ling who cares so much about me.

Jing Yi nestled closer in Qiu Ling's embrace and covered the hand next to him with his own. He felt like he should do something for Qiu Ling, too. Despite that one time when he helped him to get out of his inner self, he had never done anything for him. And even then there had been another person helping because he couldn't even enter on his own and he himself hadn't done much besides finding Qiu Ling and listening to his story.

This relationship of theirs ... it was quite one-sided, wasn't it?

Jing Yi turned in Qiu Ling's arms and looked up at his face. He couldn't help but smile when he saw his eyes closed. It seemed he hadn't been the only one who was tired. In the past year, he had never seen Qiu Ling sleep. When he fell asleep Qiu Ling was still wide awake and when he woke up the next morning Qiu Ling would always have gotten up already. This was actually the first time he saw Qiu Ling asleep.

Jing Yi examined the face he had already gotten so familiar with in the past year. His features were relaxed right now and he was even smiling a bit as if he was having a nice dream.

Jing Yi reached over and lightly caressed his cheek. Qiu Ling's smile grew more pronounced and he pulled him closer with a practiced motion until Jing Yi's head came to lie against his chest. Then, he sighed with obvious satisfaction. "Jing He ... So you've come back."

Jing Yi froze. His hand on Qiu Ling's cheek trembled a bit and he hurriedly took it back. That name again. More and more often he felt like Qiu Ling wasn't really talking to him when he used it.

Jing Yi sighed but in contrast to Qiu Ling's happy mood, his heart was heavy. He still remembered that person in the blue robe. His beautiful face, the valuable robe, his elegant movements ... And the thing he remembered most clearly was Qiu Ling's reaction. The expression he had made when he saw that person again and spoke about him. Even though it had only been a fragment of his memory that they saw he had been so happy. It was obvious how much he had loved that person.

Jing Yi tried to get out of Qiu Ling's arms but naturally, he didn't succeed. Instead, Qiu Ling pulled him even closer when he noticed. "Jing He. Where do you think you're going?" The words he whispered made it even worse.

"Let go." Jing Yi tried to free himself of Qiu Ling's hands but they gripped onto him too tightly.

In the end, Qiu Ling opened his eyes. "What is it, my love?" He relaxed his grip but still didn't let go of him completely.