If You Were My Love

Gypsy

I was finally in my third trimester. No one had said anything to me about it but I didn't really see how they didn't notice. That being said I didn't really even give them a chance to notice. I avoided everyone but Christine at all costs. I had Lori to keep me company and besides I didn't party anymore so I wasn't really missing out on much. We were playing in Phoenix tonight and I was excited and nervous at the same time. This would be the first time that I saw my parents since I had found out that I was pregnant. I didn't know how they were going to take it. I mean they couldn't really do anything to me, I'm 34 years old but I hate to disappoint them. I'm going to tell my mom first, that is if they both don't notice it first. I don't think my clothes are hiding it really. I just think if I could explain to Mom first that maybe it would be a little easier to tell Daddy together. I always try to give a little extra to the crowd in Phoenix because this is my home. They are always so happy to see me and I like to show them how much I love them. The show ended up being fantastic and I was really excited to see my family. I rushed backstage and only had to wait a few minutes for them to be there. They were so happy to see me. I hugged them tightly but tried to place my body where they had no contact with my stomach whatsoever. I didn't want to have this conversation with my parents. "Jess will you step out for a minute so Stevie can change and we can all head home?" my mom asked Daddy. He agreed and walked out. I started to get my clothes gathered and was trying to think of a way to change where she couldn't see me. As I was going around the dressing room she was just standing there. Finally she grabbed me and stopped me. "Oh baby." she said to me tenderly and there were tears in her eyes. I couldn't help but cry. I knew she knew. "I'm sorry Mom, I never want to disappoint you." I told her. "Stevie it's ok. You haven't disappointed me. I just wish you would have felt like you could tell me." she said tearfully. We sat down and I told her the whole story. I couldn't go through it without crying and she cried along with me. She didn't tell me anything I had done was wrong, she just supported me with her love. It made me wish that I had told her sooner. I was a little surprised when she rubbed her hand across my stomach. No one else had done it before. The baby automatically responded and it excited the both of us. "We're going to have to tell your daddy tonight Stevie." she told me. "I know, I just don't want to do it here." I replied. "No, we'll wait to get home." She handed me a shawl to cover myself up with as we walked out the door. My dad was patiently waiting outside. I was trying to hurry us out to the car, I didn't want to run into Lindsey and Carol Ann. My parents usually always still spoke to Lindsey when they saw him and I was hoping to avoid that. "Stevie slow down." Daddy called behind me. "I think we should just get out to the car." Mom told him. I knew she realized what I was doing. "We're going to leave without even saying hello to Lindsey?" Daddy asked her. "We're going to get our daughter home Jess." she told him seriously. He didn't say another word and we got out of there as quickly as we could. 

I felt like I was a child again sitting in the backseat of my parent's car. Now I was going to have a child. It's crazy the circles we come through in our lives. "Baby you sounded great tonight." Daddy told me. "Thanks Daddy." I told him sincerely. My parents had heard me sing my whole life and the fact that they still enjoyed it. The ride was mostly silent, Mom and I weren't really sure what to say but this wasn't really a conversation to be had in the car. It wasn't much a drive though so it wasn't too awkward. We came in and Daddy took my bags upstairs to the room I always stayed in when I came home. I got comfortable on the couch and Mom sat down beside me. It wasn't sure how Daddy was going to take this and I felt myself getting nervous. Mom held my hand. It was reassuring to me. Daddy walked back into the room and sat down. "Ok so is anyone going to tell me why we had to rush out tonight before we even got to say hello to Lindsey? Stevie I know you two have had your problems but that's never been an issue before." Daddy said. He was never one to beat around the bush. I looked over at Mom. I just didn't know how to start. I think she knew I wouldn't be able to get it out and she started it out for me. "The situation has changed with Lindsey quite a bit. I think after you understand you'll be rather glad that we didn't stop to talk to him." she told him. He looked over at me a confused look on his face. I knew he was waiting for me to explain and I couldn't expect Mom to do it for me. I was acting like a child I knew and I was well into adulthood. It wasn't like I was nineteen and telling my parents I was pregnant. I just needed to suck it up. Mom squeezed my hand. "Go ahead Stevie." she encouraged me. I looked over at Daddy who I could tell was thinking the worst. "Well Jimmy and I broke up when we were in France. Lindsey broke up with his girlfriend and he said he wanted to start trying to work things out. I agreed and we were fine for about a month. When we got back he went back to his girlfriend. I tried to talk to him, I had something important to tell him and he basically slammed his door in my face." I started. I knew Daddy wasn't following because he didn't understand why this was a big deal. "Stevie this isn't making any sense. Are you thinking clearly here?" he asked. My eyes flashed angrily at him because I knew it was his nice way of asking if I was high. "Yes I am Daddy. I've haven't touched anything it months!" I said angrily. "I just don't get what's going on. You and Lindsey always have issues Stevie." he reminded me. I was getting angrier. "It's different this time because I'm pregnant Daddy. I tried to tell him I was pregnant and he slammed his door in my face. That's how it's different. I don't want anything else to do with him. I won't be treated this way for the rest of my life. My baby deserves a father who isn't so selfish and doesn't have a girlfriend like the one he does. If he didn't want to let me tell him about our baby it's his loss. I'll do it by myself!" I raged angrily. I could tell I had totally taken him by surprise. I watched shock, then anger, then compassion cross his face. He came over and sat down by me. "Stevie I didn't mean to upset you. I just didn't understand but I do now. If you don't want to deal with him then you don't have to. Your mother and I will help you. Why don't you move back to Phoenix when you're not working?" he suggested. I was totally shocked. I had expected him to demand that I tell Lindsey about the baby and try to convince me that we should get married. He hadn't done any of that but maybe he realized how hurt I had been. I was grateful for the compassion instead of the lecture. "I didn't know how I didn't notice this earlier!" he laughed. I thought he was right about keeping my main residence in Phoenix. Since my family was the only family the baby would have I wanted it to know them. We spent the rest of the night making plans for me to buy a house. I would be on tour until the baby was born so I wouldn't be able to go house hunting. I told them what I wanted and they would look for me. I was happy to know they were excited about the baby and felt so relieved that they knew finally. I was definitely going to sleep easier.