Mine

Chapter 5

"So open your eyes and see the way our horizons meet and all of the lights will lead into the night with me and I know these scars will bleed, but both of our hearts believe all of these stars will guide us home."

Let's say that things between me and Jasper have been going well... At least for now. We've been coming to the stadium every single day for the past two weeks because we know that's the only place we get to see each other, talk to each other and even feel like we're still together, but I got so many things to think about. Like, I'm planning on getting a job on a famous magazine here in Amsterdam, so I can practice my writing and I'll be designing. I also want to buy my own flat because to be honest, I'm so sick and tired of feeling like I'm a useless person, like a third wheel whenever I'm with my mom and Ryan, I want to give them their own space... And we all win they get to be alone and I get to have my own place... Excellent. I would like to get things done with Jasper as well... I mean I want us to be clear and in good terms. I want to be with him, there's no doubt in that, but I just can't risk my future and his. Life gets tough.

-Woah, for how long have you been here Cillessen?.-

-Let's say that I've been waiting for you for like two hours.- he says.

-Sorry, I was helping my mom with some wedding stuff.- I say.

-Didn't know we were getting married...- He laughs.-

-You wish.- I roll my eyes.-

-So what do you want to do today?.-

-I don't know what are you up to?.-

-How about if we... I don't know... Nothing comes to mind to be honest.-

-Want a coffee?.-

-Yeah that'd be nice, let's go to that coffee shop we used to go very often remember?.-

-I love that place.-

-And the brownies.-

-Yeah their brownies are better than yours.-

-I don't think so... My brownies are way better than theirs.-

-Yeah right, Jasper, now let's go, we haven't gone to that place in ages.-

-Why did we stop going there?- He asks.

-Really you don't remember?.-

-Well...-

-We stopped going because you insisted on baking me brownies everytime I felt like eating them.-

-I really loved to cook for you.-

-You don't anymore?.-

-I haven't cooked for you in so long.- He looks at the ground. God I miss those days.

-Would you cook for me again?.- I look at him. Afraid to know what he's thinking.

-I'd love to.- He says and smiles.

-That'd be lovely.-

-I think I still have two boxes of brownie mix, let's go to my place and I'll bake you those brownies you love.-

He opens the door for me and we get into his car and make our way to his place. We literally sing all the way home. I missed that. We sing to all of our favorite songs like Tiptoe by Imagine Dragons.

-You know what? I'll bake the two boxes...-

-Can I help you?.-

-Sure.- He smiles and hands one of the boxes.

-We should put music on... Everything's better with music, but let's put your playlist, I like your music taste more than I like mine.- I laugh.

-I like that song.- He says as we're listening to Fancy by Iggy Azalea.-

-I can't stand her, but I love that song so much.- I say. Jasper singing to Fancy is literally the best thing ever.

-This feels like the old days.-

-Yeah...- I say

-I like it.- He looks me in the eyes.

-I like it too.- I look at him. I have this urge to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad.

-We should do this more often.-

-That'd be cool.-

We're done with both of the mixes and we get them into the oven. That's when this song All Of The Stars by Ed Sheeran from The Fault In Our Stars starts playing. Jasper and I used to think that song was our song.

-Nothing better than Ed Sheeran.-

-Haven't heard that song since...-

-Since I left you?.-

-Yeah.- He gets closer and takes my hand.

-I used to listen to this song everyday when I was in Brazil because it reminded me of you and you know that part that says "So can you see the stars over Amsterdam?" it really killed me.- Now tears are rolling down his face.

-Jasper...- I whisper.

He just looks at me but doesn't say a word, he leans closer, and that's when I feel our lips colliding nothing ever felt so right in my entire life. Never thought I would need someone so bad. I wish I could just stop time and live in this very moment forever. The kiss is sweet, it feels good, right, I feel fixed. I feel like there's just the two of us, no one else exists. Just me and him. Me and Him. Forever.

-I love you.- He whispers.

-I love you too.- I whisper. I'm on his arms just like all those times before.- Jasper...- I whisper to him.

-Yeah?.-

-Hold me tight.- I say.

-I won't let you go again, I promise.-

-I missed you.-

-I missed you even more, and I'm sorry.-

-I wish we could stay this way forever.-

-What are we now? Are we friends or are we more?.-

-What do you want us to be?.-

-I want you to be mine, I want us together.-

-I have always been yours.- I say.

-That means you're my girlfriend right?.-

-That's what you want?.-

-Do you want that?.-

-Yeah... I want that.-

-I love you.-

-I love you too, but I think you should see if the brownies are ready.-

He checks the oven and gets the brownies out as I whipe my tears off.

-They smell good.-

-Yeah they do.-

-Want coffee?.-

-Yeah, but I'll do it.-

-Okay, I'll cut the brownies into pieces so we can eat them and I think there's some strawberry ice cream in the fridge.-

I make us both coffee as we eat the brownies, the two of us cuddling on his couch like the old times. Kissing, eating, enjoyning our time together.