InsaneStuck [Sollux x Karkat]

Chapter 48

>BE THE SHORT NUBBY HORNED TROLL WHO IS MENTALLY FLIPPING HIS SHIT ABOUT A FEW DAYS LATER<

So... a few days ago Sollux was brought back to our hive. He asked me for a comprehension notebook on the car ride home. He filled up the damn thing in little than one night. What he wrote about though... was troubling. I found out how troubling it really was when he showed it to me, allowing me to read it. It explained so many questions I've been having... Like things about his past. What exactly happened that day he was taken away from HIS point of view. What his parents did to him... What they did to my parents.. Everything. Even the first time he was forced to kill...

After reading the book, I looked at him wide eyed. I had no idea what to say. Reading all of that was just... wow. All he could do was glance to the side. I could tell this was hard for him. It was hard for me and I didn't even experience it. He's been through so much, and nobody even knew. No one. Who could he have told anyway without being thrown in the... Nevermind.

"Would you quiit 2tariing at me already and ju2t 2ay 2omethiing?"

Sollux's voice dragged me out of my daze. His eyes were back on me. Well, at least I think they are? I was never really knew that for sure. His eyes never really did the person trying to figure out his mood any justice. I studied his facial features, trying to get a feel for his where he was at.

"THE THING IS... I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO TELL YOU SOLLUX..."

"ii fiigured. iit'2 all ju2t 2udden iinformatiion that you and everyone el2e had no iidea about. Everyone except my parents and ii. Al2o my 2ii2ter."

I remembered a part he wrote about Aradia. Apparently they met in purgatory or whatever?

"I'M SO SORRY THAT THIS HAPPENED. YOU DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF IT."

He perked up a bit, as if what I said actually helped. "You thiink 2o...?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING? WHAT KIND OF SHIT-HEAD DO YOU PLAY ME FOR? I WOULDN'T WISH THIS ON MY WORST ENEMY LET ALONE MY MATESPRIT."

And the next thing I knew, I was engulfed in a tight hug. The sudden movement almost knocked me off the bed, but I still hugged him back. There was a small sniffle a few seconds after. Was he crying? My hands laid themselves flat on his back as I rubbed it gently.

"IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY SOLLUX. I PROMISE."

What kind of empty reassurance was that? I had no idea if things were going to be "okay" and how to keep them from being otherwise. His psycho father could come kill us any second now, and I probably wouldn't be able to do much to stop it. All I could think about was the first time they kidnapped us... The way he drew our blood and mixed them together... ugh I hated every second of watching that and I could see the way it bothered him.... But when I left and came back with those two cops... what happened in that small time frame I was gone... reading the details gave me the chills. His father was a freak... a monster... something that needs to be locked away or killed.

He knew that too. He had to get rid of that asshole. Or at least someone else had to. Neither Sollux or I could take on someone like him. He was too brutal. One of the damn murder weapons he used to kill a person was a pencil. YES A FUCKING PENCIL. Who kills someone with a writing utensil?? APPARENTLY HIM!

Okay okay, back to Sollux. Enough about your freak out with pencils. It's just weird.

Sollux's head rested on my shoulder. I noticed something about him now. He never really ever sobbed. Just a few tears. He never really was too happy either, unless he was with me or Aradia. His mood swings were strange really. One second he'd be really pissed off, then sad, then pissed again. It's like his main flow of emotion revolved around those two in particular- ok wow, two. Should of seen that one like a flashing sign saying "hey! check this obvious and ironic realization you only figured out just now!" But anyway, that's how it is. I'm pretty damn sure of it. He only rarely was in other moods, but he also has this weird state of neutrality. Sometimes it's just.... odd.

"kk.." Sollux's voice once again pulled me out of my thoughts.

"YEAH?"

"ii'm 2orry ii couldn't tell you thii2 before. iit'2 kiind of hard two expre22 all the detaiil2 and 2tuff that way."

"IT'S FINE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU'RE FINE." I patted his back a bit more.

"ii don't know when he'2 goiing two come, but when he doe2, ii have no choiice but two take hiim on. ii can't keep runniing from hiim."

"WHAT IF YOU GET HURT AND HE.."

"That'2 ju2t a rii2k ii have two take. iif he doe2 kiill me-"

"NO HE WON'T KILL YOU. I'LL HELP YOU TAKE HIM ON." Even though I already said we probably couldn't.

"No. ii can't rii2k that. You mean far two much two me. You're not goiing two fiight hiim, ii need two do thii2 alone."

"YOU DON'T NEED TO FIGHT HIM ALONE! IT'S NOT BETTER JUST TO KILL HIM YOURSELF. HE MIGHT END UP SURPRISING YOU... AND... AND I CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT! I LOST YOU A COUPLE TIMES ALREADY. NOT *AGAIN*."

"kk ii-"

"I DON'T CARE IF IT'S LIKE YOUR 'DESTINY' AND 'ITS THE FIGHT EVERYTHING AS BEEN PREPARING YOU FOR.' I AM HELPING YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT." Looks like we now share a death wish.

After that, there was a moment of silence between us too. He and I still had our arms wrapped around each other. He pulled back slightly to look at me, then nodded.

"Okay."