The Wild

-12- It's Complicated

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Morning came, and I felt the effects of being a third wheel, otherwise known as the bitterness of after-tears. My face felt stretched, as if someone had rung out my eyes and let the saltiness dry over my cheeks.

Feeling ill, I pulled myself up from the cushions of the living room couch and held the heel of my palm to my temple. I felt less like a princess, and was sure any attempt at gracefulness today would result in taking a tumble. Daylight was streaming through the windows, and the pure white gleam on the water caught my eye. It was still too cold to go swimming, though.

There were issues with the pounding in my head, but as it dissipated, the voices in the kitchen became clearer. I turned to find the divider between the kitchen and the living room had been closed.

"You don't have to stay here. I can take care of things." Mary's voice came through, hushed to keep from waking me and anyone else asleep in the house.

"I'd rather stay here. Bennet and I didn't exactly come to actually hunt," John said. I figured this was true, but they were still at it early in the morning and later in the day. There was a moment of quiet, but I could still pick up on their murmured voices merging into long conversations. "I'd like to get back as soon as possible, though."

"They won't be leaving anytime soon. We could pack up and move like we used to," she suggested.

"We can't leave Lily and Amaya like this, Mary," he insisted, his voice rising. I cringed, dropping my head back down onto the pillow Mary had given me from their room. She was trying to calm John down, to at least consider leaving the shop behind, perhaps finding a place in Montana, or maybe chancing it in a larger town farther east.

"Wherever we go, if they find us, it'll just cause more damage to the people we live by," he told her. Even though his voice was level, I knew there must have been something in his expression that willed Mary to keep from chasing after her husband when he left out the back door.

I waited a while, until it didn't seem convenient that I got up just when John left. I got up from the couch and shuffled my way to the kitchen, pretending I hadn't been up to hear that conversation. Truthfully, I didn't want them to pack up and ditch Amaya and I. Even if things were a bit strange and off about the Karstens, they made me feel safer than being home alone listening to the wolves in the distance.

Mary greeted me when I entered. "Where's Bennet and Amaya?"

"Sleeping. How do you feel?"

I wondered if my eyes were still red or if I was still shaking like a flag caught in a tough wind. "Fine."

"That's good to hear." Silence settled after that, but it was stiff and made it difficult for me to make myself feel comfortable. Eventually I settled on sitting on the bench nearby the window. "Something wrong?"

"Confused is all."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, sometimes I feel the same way," she said, giving a nervous laugh followed by a distressed sigh. She held a fork in her hand and was repeatedly beating the pancake batter with it. It sloshed about with thick slaps as it folded over itself.

I gave her a questioning look before she explained. "Oh, no, not the confused part. Though I do feel confused most of the time. I just want you to know that you weren't alone in that boat last night," she said. I didn't want to believe that cheerful Mary ever experienced that kind of agony before, but the sincerity in her voice told the truth.