Twenty-six Steps with Easton

five

T S S W E

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FIVE

afternoon

—

the time of day between noon and evening when the sun has not yet set behind the landscape

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SHE WAS NERVOUS.

It seemed as if her heart hadn't stopped racing since the encounter in the building, which was, at least, five minutes away by now.  Her nerves were displayed openly as her right hand continued to shake at her side and her breaths became uneven as she thought of the boy walking beside her.

Easton was humming a familiar tune, one that Paloma should've recognized immediately but didn't.  She was beginning to think that allowing him to come along was a horrible idea, but she couldn't understand why.  She thought of the last time they were in each other's company and how comfortable she had felt with him.  Why was her mind tricking her this time?

Lost in her thoughts, Paloma didn't realize she'd stopped walking until Enzo tugged at his leach, impatiently whining until she gave him attention.  She turned to Easton, who had stopped as well, and smiled in embarrassment. Her heart was still beating rapidly in her chest, and she had no idea how to get rid of it.

"If you want, I can hold his leash for a while."  Upon seeing her look of hesitation, Easton smiled encouragingly and offered his hand.  "Really, I don't mind."

After realizing it was probably a good idea, she handed over the leash to him in hopes that she could figure out a way to calm her nerves.  It had been over two years since she had last had a panic attack, but at the current rate of how things were going, she could feel another one coming.

The city buzzed as the sounds of cars, people, and other random noises filled the afternoon air.  Beside them, cars whizzed by in quick flashes, hurrying to catch the next light ahead.  Across the street was a baker ready to close up shop while another was settling in for the opening of theirs.  Scattered around them were people on walks of their own, some on the phone, others enjoying the nice weather and tranquility of the afternoon.

She tried to focus on all of these things, but she needed something to anchor her, something to keep her on the ground before she didn't know where it was anymore.

"Do you believe in love?" the boy next to her asked softly.  It almost sounded rhetorical, like he wasn't expecting an answer from her.  Paloma could feel his gaze, but she ignored it with every ounce in her being.  She didn't want to be judged and most especially not from him.

"I'd like to think I do," Easton continued shortly, "and maybe that's just foolish, but there's a part of me that's always hoped to have that.  Love, I mean."

He paused to look at her once more.  She could feel her breathing slow down at his words, but her heart was still racing, the end of the race seeming farther than she would ever know.

"Sometimes I imagine I do have it.  My mind conjures up all of the possibilities, and it's as if my heart looks at all of them and chooses one so my mind doesn't have to.  I imagine it feels like the warmth of the summer sun and the chill of the winter wind all at once.  I can see myself excited to wake up in the morning and content when I fall asleep.  I try to think of all the little things that make up the whole picture, and someday, I hope I get to know what those are."

Paloma turned to look at him, watching as he let out a small sigh.  He looked relieved, and that was when she knew that he had just shared a vulnerable piece of himself with her.  Instead of feeling obligated to do the same, she kept quiet and reeled in her thoughts.

This made them more than strangers and more than acquaintances.  This was one step in the direction of what would soon become one of her greatest adventures yet.  Things were different now, and as she reached out to pet Enzo, who had exhausted all of his energy into the walk and was now sitting at her feet, she paused.

She took a moment to watch her hand closely before she noticed it had stopped shaking.  She had been so focused on listening to Easton that she never realized what happened in turn.

Her nerves were gone.

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THE REST OF the afternoon passed by in a blur with Paloma still reeling in the event that had transpired with Easton.  Seeing as Enzo was tired from the walk, the pair headed back in the direction of the apartments, where they bid their goodbyes and resorted to their respective homes.  That was nearly four hours ago, and since then, Paloma had decided to bury her thoughts in her studies instead.

Pages of notes were strewn across the light pink comforter covering her bedsheets.  Her hand was fatigued from how much writing she had pushed herself to do, though, at this point, she was most definitely questioning why she had done that to herself.  She rubbed at her temples with a sigh, feeling a headache coming on.

The soft sound of Enzo's paws padding against the wooden flooring of her room grabbed her attention, his cream colored ears sticking out at the edge of her bed.  Her eyes lit up in amusement and adoration for the pup.  She carefully organized her notes before calling him over, him making his way around the corner, tail wagging and tongue sticking out.

"Hi boy," she greeted, picking him up and holding him in her arms as he wriggled in excitement.  He tried to lick her face, and as much as she felt her adoration for him growing, she was slightly disgusted by the act of affection.

Setting Enzo down on the floor, she stood up and started in the direction of the kitchen to look for something to soothe her headache.  The pup trailed behind her, his head bumping into her feet every few steps.  She chuckled softly but continued on.

After taking a couple pills to settle the throbbing in her head, she suddenly remembered that she didn't eat dinner.  She resisted the urge to facepalm.  That would explain the headache.

A knock on her door snapped her out of her thoughts.  Enzo barked at the noise, tail wagging as he waited for Paloma in front of the door.  She ruffled his fur before unlocking the door to meet whoever it was on the other side.

No one was there.

She glanced around the hallway to check if there was someone standing nearby, but not a single person was in sight.  She was about to head back inside when she noticed the yellow sticky note attached to her door.  She felt her heart perk up at the sight of the familiar handwriting.

you and me.

a date.

7pm tomorrow.

— e

p.s. bring a blanket

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12 august 2018

cont.