Detroit: Become Human Oneshots

memes (connor fic)

I wanted to name this chapter "ah fuck I can't believe you've done this" or "oh honey, no, what were you thinking" but they all would have been too long

This is for some fabulously memey bros

Goldclaw10 and b_l_e_x_x_e_d_

Thank you for the inspiration and sorry cause it kinda sucks 😘

Trigger warning??: very brief mentions of boners so I guess nsfw but only at the beginning I swear this is fluffy af

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Connor had a problem.  And no, it wasn't a boner.  I'm looking at you, Connor smut fanfiction authors.  No, Connor’s problem was more complex.  More difficult.  Connor wasn't quite sure what it even was, so that's pretty bad.  But he was sure of one thing, the source of this apparent problem was only a few feet away.

“Lieutenant?” Connor spoke finally, his LED remaining a bright yellow.  Connor's coin had been flicking back and forth between his hands, but he had caught it in two fingers just now.  “Jesus, I was wondering when you would speak and stop playing with that damn coin.  What?” Hank asked grumpily, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of his coffee.  “I think I am in love.” Lieutenant Anderson did a spittake.

“Jesus Christ Conner, what the fuck?  Love? With fucking who?” Hank finally sputtered, wiping his desk with his shirt.  The coffee was soaked up into his shirt, which was kind of gross but Hank obviously doesn't care.  “I believe that I have an infatuation, or 'romantic’ interest if you will, with Detective (y/l/n).” Connor replied, keeping his eyes trained on the Lieutenant.

“(y/n)?!” Hank asked incredulously, looking over at (y/n).  (Y/n) was currently sitting at her desk next to Gavin, sitting very strangely in her chair.  One leg was sitting normal and the other was draped over one side of the chair.  She had headphones in, and she was tapping a non-rhythmic pattern as she looked at her computer.  “You want to ask her out?” Hank hissed, a smirk appearing on his face.  After a quick search of Hank’s slang, Connor nodded.

“Yes, I do want her to reciprocate my feelings.  Do you have any advice, as a human?  I feel personal advice would be of more assistance to me than anything online, seeing as every person’s romantic tastes are different.  What do you know about (y/n)'s personally?” Connor asked, turning towards him.  Hank glanced at (y/) quickly, looking back at Connor in thought.

“I mean... She's a fucking loser!” He sputtered, laughing at himself.  Connor raised his eyebrows, as if to say 'fucking excuse me bitch?'.  Hank chuckled again, sitting up straighter in his chair.  "No, I just meant... I mean I'm pretty sure she's a gen z kid.  Like, she's just a fucking meme!  Like, with the despacito and the confused math lady and the pepe and all that crap." Hank said, struggling to remember the old memes.  Connor was researching each meme he mentioned, and was even more confused.  How was that funny?

"I don't exactly follow... How does that pertain to her romantically?" He asked, LED turning into a calmed blue.  "I mean... I dunno her that well but I know that she... I mean look at 'er!  She's sitting like a fucking gay!  Plus I've heard her quoting Vines with that shit Gavin." Hank explained, looking back to the girl, who was now nodding her head to whatever music she was listening to.

“‘Vines’”? Connor asked, clearly confused.  "Ah, right.  It was some app back in, I dunno, like 20 years ago that made a bunch of memes." Hank struggled to explain, having not thought of Vine for a long-ass time.  "I see.  But my question still stands, how do I pursue her romantically?" Connor intertwined his fingers, leaning forward on his desk.  Hank rubbed his chin, trying to think of seriously legit advice.