ShadowSong [Book 3]

Chapter 33 - Cornered and Cracked

She became aware of an endless, silver fog slowly, like waking to a dream.

Once, she might have found it curious, comforting. Now, it only echoed back on itself, a numb abyss that she could lose herself in forever. She did not move. She did not call out. Her strength was spent, having leaked through the cracks she'd made after digging too deep. Her spirit was weak and left battered just to breathe.

Everything was silent. She was silent.

She didn't want to be aware. She wanted to rest, but this silver fog held her back from tumbling into sleep. She remained awake, exhausted but unable to lose consciousness. So many blackouts throughout her life, and the one time she actually wanted one, it was denied to her.

It wasn't that she lacked a purpose. She wasn't alone. That silver figure carved of light moved among the fog, beckoning her, calling her, but she just couldn't find the strength to move. No matter how urgent it became, she just couldn't bring herself to listen. She was flat out just breathing.

She dropped her head down into her lap, wrapping her arms around her legs.

She'd never felt like this. She'd never felt so broken. So empty. So utterly, completely spent. Moving felt like it'd kill her. She didn't know if she was dead, Dark, or somewhere inbetween. Maybe that was why she couldn't sleep. Maybe she was dead, stuck somewhere between the waking world and the sleeping, forever trapped, forever in this silence--

No.

That small, tiny part of her, the single spark left in her core, flared into a bright, defiant note among the overwhelming silence in her head.

Did the Serpent really beat you? the spark demanded to know. Are you really just going to lay down and die like this? After all that talk with the Serpent? The only reason you annoyed him was because he believed you.

I had Banshee's strength then, she replied. Banshee's strength held me together.

Wyvern didn't have his Luminary strength. The spark wasn't as loud as it'd been before, but it still refused to be ignored. Refused to be stifled. You still heard the sheer stubborn will that held him together. Are you gonna tell me that Wyvern is stronger than you?

Her fingers tightened on her arms. I don't know.

You care so damn much and you're so strong because of it, whispered the spark.

Olivia looked up, searching for eyes, for the colours, and found only silver.

"What did you say?" she said into the silvery void.

The spark did not reply, and left her to the silence.

Eternal, echoing, silence.

No.

She'd had enough of silence.

Olivia forced herself to take a breath. Olivia put one foot flat on the ground and pushed. Olivia was the one who stood up, and Olivia was the one who refused to collapse back down when her legs were shaking and her body wanted to crumble into a heap.

You've always been there for us, Shadowheart. For me.

He'd said those words, starlight be damned. He had said those words. To her. He'd said them to her. And she'd heard him, and she'd fallen asleep beside him, and she was enough.

This, this mess of a mind that she had was enough, Other be cursed. She still barely had the energy to move, could barely move or breath or think beyond this sheer, stubborn determination that flicked on like a default setting and absolutely refused to be shut up.