Painting Life

T w e n t y - F o u r

Not my best chappie, but here you go. Excuse the weird pacing. It's the first draft. :) 

AND I JUST FINISHED MY NANO GOAL. IS THAT COOL OR NOT? Not cool? Okay. *cries* 

Anyways, cheers! Happy reading!

~Rida <3 (Vote, comment, fan) 

<< The sun still shines when you are not around >> 

Twenty Four | The world of lies.

D a n i y a:

I was sad that the day had to end. I had been having fun; practically the best time of my life and I just wanted to freeze those precious moments and live in them forever because I had felt completely and utterly free, as if I'd just grown a pair of wings and flown away. 

Spending my day with Dad had definitely done me good.

He liberated me. He breathed the oxygen in my world because when he wasn't doing that, I was suffocating. I loved him. And I loved God for blessing me with my father. 

"Hey, Dani?" My mother asked tentatively, pulling me out of my happy trance.

I was washing the dishes and Mom had called Haris to check on him. It was funny how I had forgotten about Haris today. I didn't even think about him once. 

But I hadn't moved on yet. No. My heart still thudded when I heard his name. Butterflies still fluttered when I thought about him. 

It was hard - the moving on business was.  

I looked at my mother.

Our relationship was still fragile and the cracks were visible on the front. I was still trying to forget my mother's flaws and to let them pass but it seemed impossible because my mother had never apologized. To be honest, I knew I had already lost her to Haris. 

"Yeah?" 

"Can you please talk to Haris for a moment, there?" She asked. "I really need to pee and I hate to put him on hold so..." 

What was so wrong about having him wait? I wanted to ask. But instead I just nodded as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

I didn't want to talk to Haris. Not after he left like that. 

But I guess he would always be there, whether I liked it or not. An interferance in my personal life. 

"Hello?" I asked, holding the phone to my ear as Mom disappeared. 

"Hey," He said nervously. 

I bit my lip, "So.." 

"This is awkward," He blurted out. 

I let out a wry laugh, "Yes. Considering you left without saying goodbye to me." 

The awkwardness was tangible, filling the distance between us. I knew Haris had no logical reason for this and the only thing he could do was apologize. But what would he apologize for? 

For leaving just like that? It wasn't an excuse. 

"Look, Daniya," He sighed. "I am sorry." 

"Are you?" 

"I don't know what came over me. I swear. I was being stupid. It was just a wrong decision." 

"Don't give me crap, Haris." 

"But-" 

"I am not stupid, okay?" I suddenly roared, my anger getting the best of me. "I know you don't care about me and I know I am just that insignificant fly in your life. I know. And I understand why you wouldn't want to say goodbye. I am a damn failure, after all."

"That's not the truth-" He started to say. 

"Do. Not. Feed. Me. With. Lies," I said, drawing out each word slowly. 

"But-" 

"And no buts," My voice held a tone of finality. 

"Daniya. You are not a failure." 

"That's what she didn't say," I said, my voice trembling. 

Screw it, I thought. Hold yourself together, Daniya. He's already seen you at your weakest points. Don't let him see more of it. 

"Look," He started gently. "The people who call you a loser are complete idiots. They are missing out. You are one of the most amazing person -" 

"Bullshit," I shouted. "Stop feeding me lies. I am done. Done with you, done with Mom, done with every single person in this life. I am tired of your lies. I am tired of being put down by people. Do you know how it feels? Knowing that I am not good enough, that I'll never be good enough for other people? But of course, you don't. You are the golden, popular guy. You are the one everyone loves. Of course, you don't know what it feels like to be bullied." 

"Dan-" 

"I am drowning, Haris. Every single time, some one says something bad to me, I start drowning right there. And I try to breathe. But do you know what I swallow? Their words." 

"I-" 

"At first I believed that I wasn't bad. I believed I was better, I was capable. I believed that I was the princess Dad made me out to be. But I am not, Haris. And I never will be, no matter what others say." 

"You-" 

"So don't tell me I am better than all those people. Don't tell me that. Because I am not. If I were, then I wouldn't be in this position. If I were, then I would be in your place, charming every single person I've met." 

"But-" 

"But I can't do that. I can't charm people like you do. Hell, I don't think people will even be bothered to come to my funeral when I die. I am that undeserving, boring, bland girl. I am the girl who isn't worthy of friends." 

"I-" 

"I am the girl who will never be able to leave a mark. You know, when I was small, I wanted to be a superwoman. A heroine. I wanted to fight battles and have everyone remember me when I died. But no one will. So I guess I failed. I am that pathetic, I can't even reach out to my own dreams."

"Daniy-" 

"And talking to you makes me realize that even more, you know? You are the one guy who everyone loves. Hell, even I fell for your charm. It's just so darn easy to fall in love with you. But not with me. You taught me that." 

"That's-" 

"But you don't know, Haris. You simply don't know. When you die, everyone's going to show up. You'll be the boy who sold the flower necklaces in the garden. The boy who painted and the boy who had the determination to achieve whatever he wanted to. The boy who everyone loved and knew." 

"Dam-" 

"And me? I'll just be another girl who died amongst all those dying people in the world. Nothing of significance. Just a small line in everybody's book. The line that everyone would overlook. The line that nobody would care about." 

I was crying, my heart beating seven times as faster than the normal. I could hear Haris' mind whirring and I knew he was stir up more lies just to make me feel better.

So, before Haris could say anything; before he could mount on me a brutally false version of myself, I cut the line off, hoping that my mother wouldn't be mad.