The next morning Will was deep in thought. What on earth could Magnus have possibly meant?
“Are you sure that’s all Jem see’s you as?” The words lingering on his brain.
Will was fairly certain that he knew what Magnus meant, but Will had never imagined such a thing from Jem. For Jem loved Tessa, did he not?
There were no signs, none that he could think of, that would imply anything other than what their relationship had always been. Brothers, parabatai, closest friends.
Will imagined the thought of he and Jem together, it was strange, peculiar, and he couldn’t decide whether such a thing would be good, or bad. What would the institute think? What would Tessa think? It would be hard enough to explain to the institute that two people of the same gender were in love, but parabatai? That would be even harder.
He pushed the thought aside and mustered up the courage to go downstairs. He was weary about seeing Jem today, and felt as if he should tread lightly around him.
Though to Jem, today was just another day, to Will, it felt like a completely different world.
Suddenly Will took note of everything Jem did. The way he moved his hands, the way his eyes lingered on his parabatai just a little too long.
If Jem did have such feelings, would there ever be a time when he would simply admit it to Will? It was doubtful. Though Jem had the courage, he didn’t have the strength to do such a thing. No, if anyone was going to have to say something, it would have to be Will.
Later that evening, over much deliberation about how Will would even bring up such a sore subject, someone was knocking on his door.
Will picked up his witchlight, shining it on the grandfather clock. 3AM. It was clear who was behind the knock.
Will flattened his hair. Why was he doing such a thing? He never usually flattened it, was he worried about his appearance all of a sudden?
He pushed the thought aside and stood up. This was it. He was going to ask Jem how he felt. He took a deep breath, and opened the door.
Jem looked as he always did, hair a mess, with slight bags underneath his eyes, though it was clear to Will, that Jem had not slept a wink all night.
“Come in.” Will said, his tone unusually bitter. Will was always pleasant with Jem, but today was different, it was unnerving, and he didn’t know quite how to act about the situation before him.
Jem stood, waiting for Will to pat the space on the bed next to him like he always did, when Jem had realized though, that this was not going to happen this time, he decided to sit down anyway.
“What’s the matter?” Jem knew something was wrong, Will didn’t act like this, especially not around Jem. Will had always been his cheerful self around Jem, though, now, he was starting to think part of Will’s previous behaviour was merely an act or a defence mechanism around his parabatai.
Will sighed. Exasperated. Unsure of where to begin, what to say, what to do even.
“I should probably tell you something.” Will said in a quiet tone, as if embarrassed about what was to come.
“No.” Jem interrupted, “I should probably tell you something.”
Will sat in wait, concentrating on Jem’s face, hoping, praying, that Jem would do the talking for the both of them.
“I heard you, the other day, in the kitchen with Magnus.”
“You…you heard? What exactly did you hear? We were merely talking demon philosophy and where to pick up the latest underwear.”
“Don’t act like this Will, put your guard down and just tell me the truth.”
“I…I don’t know quite what to say, Jem.”
“I do.”
“Well then go right out and say it, for both of our sakes.”
And before Will could even get another word in, Jem’s lips were suddenly pressed up against his. Will was not expecting this tonight. Not any night. Not in any universe for that matter. But for some reason, he didn’t want it to stop.
He put his hands around Jem’s neck and pulled him closer, all these years suddenly colliding together at once. The force, the concentration, the passion all heated together in one sensational moment.
Jem traced his fingers against Will’s scars, and Will in turn did the same. Will wanted to be closer to Jem than he ever had been.
He had known his parabatai for as long as he could remember. Through thick and thin, he had been there, always, now he needed him more than ever. And he couldn’t think of the consequences he would face tomorrow.
He pulled Jem down onto the bed and put the covers over them both, kissing him continuously as he did so.
He covered up the witchlight, leaving them in complete and utter darkness to bury their secret, and the world collapsed around them.
