Within

Chapter 1

#Within1

I tried to picture in my mind an image of a man sitting alone in a bench. A man who lost everything. Everything he worked hard but was gone in a flash because of his decision.After that I started to draw it's outline for guidelines. I need to feel the emotions so that I could deliver to the viewers the feeling of the man. Drawing is my hobby since I was a kid. It's like my escape. You could do anything you like. I like to paint too but I'm more into drawings.

"Thea, I'm hungry." a perky voice interrupted my thoughts.Beside me lay Mella with both arms under her head.

"Its already past noon. Kumain na tayo." She continued.

Hindi ko siya pinansin at tinuloy ko na ang pagguhit. Ever since na naging kapartner ko siya sa isang project sa Arts, hindi na niya ko tinantanan.

Every lunch or break tumatambay ako dito sa punong to for it was calm and quiet. It's my place where I could do anything.Besides I am not a friendly person kaya mas gusto ko mag-isa.

Then here comes Mella na Feeling close at iniinvade ang personal space ko. Ginawa niya ring tambayan tong lugar ko. Sometimes she would tried to talk to me pero lagi ko siyang sini-snob. Pero kahit ganun di naman niya ko iistorbohin kung may ginagawa ako lalo na kapag nagdradrawing. I don't know why she is like this but I guessed this is because of my stupid brother.

I started fixing my things and put it inside my bag. Tumayo na ko at nagpagpag ng dumi sa palda ko. Nilingon ko siya and I ourstretched my hand in front of her.

"Halika na. I'm sure you just want to see my brother." I gave her a small smile and she was grinning when she reached my hand.

"You know what, mas bagay sayo ang ngumiti.Its been a while since Isaw you smile"

I just rolled my eyes on her as I pulled her up para makatayo siya.

We decided to eat at the Cafeteria na medyo unti nalang tao since malapit narin naman magtime. I noticed some students would stare us. Its not normal to see Mela eating inside the cafeteria especially with the school's running valedictorian for this year.

Mella bought me banana cake and iced tea as a drink. Ayaw ko kasi ng heavy foods. I thanked Mella for the foods. Ayaw niya kasing bayaran ko. Dumiretso na ko sa classroom ko since I magstastart na ang next class.

Rain started to pour down exactly after the class dismissed. Assigned ako ngayon para maglinis ng classroom. This school values cleanliness and orderliness Kaya kahit may janitor, kaming mga studyante may responsibility  to clean our room.

Unfortunately yung mga kagrupo ko iniwan nalang ako mag-isa. Reason: Baka daw abutan sila ng baha. Di rin ba nila alam na ako rin naman.

I was left with no choice. I started sweeping the floor and picking up their trash. Whats the use of trash bin kung tinatapon rin naman nila ang kalat nila sa sahig? Di naman sila nahihirapan maglinis.

Naconcentrate lang ako sa pagwawalis nang may nagtakip ng mata ko. Of course, I knew this person. A person who could only do this chidish act.

" Theo, seriously" I said and I heard him chuckled. He removed his hands and thats my cue to turned my head to look at him.

"Hey, minsan na nga lang magkaroon ng time with you." pagmamaktol niya.

"It's your fault, sino ba naman kasi magsabi na maging SSG President ka and addition to that, basketball varsity player pa." Nilagay ko ang isang kamay ko sa baywang ko.

Hinawakan nya ang pisngi ko at pinisil. "Psh,Suportahan mo nalang ako Thea beside last year na natin to." tinampal ko amg kamay niya at tinaasan ko ng kilay.

"Whatever. Well Tutal nandito ka naman, tulungan mo na kong maglinis. I want to go home." inabot ko sa kanya ang walis.

"Okey okey. Iisipin ko nalang ang bonding time natin. Teka nga, nasaan yung ibang cleaners? Bakit ikaw lang nandito?"

I shrugged and I continued cleaning the room.

"Anyway, hindi nga pala ako makakasabay sa paguwi. I have things to do, again. I promised to make it up to you." He said.

"thus that means you can't go with me today to visit Vonn?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'll visit Vonn tomorrow. I'm sure he'll understand."

"Okey." I replied.

"Make sure na magpapatila ka sa driver dahil Gabi na. And text me if you got home. And Say Hi for me to Vonn"

He left after helping me cleaning the classroom. He buried so much in time in school and he rarely, got time for himself. Sana di nya masyadong pinapagod Ang sarili nya.

I got a message from Manong Julius saying he can't drive me to Vonn. The rain stopped awhile ago. I texted my brother I'm taking commuting and he doesn't have to be worried about me.

It is really refreshing sometimes to commute because I have the chance to look at the city. Paghinahatid ako laging diretsong uwi.

I stopped first in shop to buy flowers. Sobrang rare nalang makikita ng Camelia flowers dito. It's a bit expensive pero Vonn like this one. I don't know why but he really like this flowers. So it's fine to spoiled him a little.

Naglakad nalang ako since walking distance naman Ang layo ko Kay Vonn.
When I got there, it is dark and quiet. I greet the guards since kilala na nila ako.

I'm not really afraid in this place. After all, Vonn is here. I walked to him and noticed a fresh bouquet of sunflowers beside him. I guessed may nauna na sakin dito. I placed the camelias beside the sunflowers and sat.

"Did you miss me, Vonn?" I said.

"Ako namiss Kita. It's been 2 years yet feeling ko Isa Lang tong bangungot. Anyway, Im back to drawing again. Of course, Theo keep bothering me. At first, ayaw ko talaga pero I remembered you. I know you don't want me to stop from reaching my dreams.  (but those dreams are long gone now.)  So Mella said it's kind of depressing right now so I'll show you kapag Hindi na ganun yung mga drawing ko. " 

"Vonn, do you really hate me that much? I never told them what happened that day. Still everyday, pakiramadam ko sinumpa mo ko and it is. I still blame myself. I am still drowning myself from guilt and pain you gave to me. And yet, after everything I still don't hate you. Do you know why?"

"Because I love you vonn."  I told myself I won't cry again yet I can't stopped it. Everytime I remember what happened that day, I can't stop feeling those emotions.

When I got home, my mother texted me that they are going to be late may emergency sa office. So I ate dinner alone and proceed to my bedroom.

Because sleep is not taking toll, I decided to get my sketchpad. My other sketchpad.

I'm the only person who knows about this. Here I could draw important events in my life. It's like a personal diary in a creative way. I know its easier to take pictures but for me its more meaningful if I drew it by myself and also I could express my feelings on it.

The saddest and dullest moments of my life.

I flipped the pages until i reached the last page I drew 2 years ago and my eyes stared it. It was an image that will always remind me of this day. That will forever haunt me.

I read the lower right part of the image.

12-24-16

I hate you Thea
Love Vonn

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Too lame.
Expect the unexpected events next chapter :)

Summerabbit just warming up...