Change.

I got up and got dressed, feeling a little better than I did last night.

After my beating last night, I got a shower which made some of the blood and bruising go down. After my shower, I grabbed a kitchen knife and put it to my wrist a few times. I watched the blood trickle down my arm, into the bathtub.

Snapping out of my flashback, I took a peak at my wrist and saw that the scars and cuts were getting bigger and bigger each time I used a knife.

I let out a sigh and began wiping on my eyeliner. I didn't smooth it down any before I put on mascara. My eyes were fake...I mean I wear contacts. They were white in the center--after my pupil--and it faded to a black rim.

I was dressed in a black shirt. Plain. My dark set jeans were held up with a neon belt. I still sagged a little. My black converse shoes had signatures on them...from a couple years back before my mom met this freak. (he beat my mom to death but I still can't figure out how he got away with it) I pulled my arms through jacket and covered my scars. I grabbed my backpack--it was black with red pop out features that made it look like a monster thing--and walked towards the door, phone in hand.

Robby drank too much last night and he was suffering from a hangover from last night. Like usual, I stuffed the pain relievers in my bag and dumped out the alcohol...after drinking a few swigs of chilled patrone.

While I was walking to the bus stop, I met this guy. He started talking to me, and I just brushed it off--mainly because I didn't know what he was saying.

"Ya' know?" he asked, looking at me.

"Sure, whatever." I said, looking past him and at the bus arriving.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow!" he said as I was walking away. The bus I wanted to take was taking to long, so I would walk. If I was late, I didn't care.

I guess I was remotely pretty...just not very outgoing. I suffered in a lot of pain...regret and stuff. It just brung me down.

"Hey." Todd said. Todd was gay.

"Hey." I answered back, putting my hands in my pockets. He looked at them funny like he always did, knowing about my secret...only because he caught me one day.

"How are you this morning?" he asked, looking at me. He gave me a hug and I hugged him back.

"I'm okay." I said, never really being all that close to my friends.

"Hey!" Yean said as she skipped over to us. She was attention starved.

"Hey." I said as I received a bubbly hug. She hugged Todd.

"So, guess what!?" she squealed. I waited.

"What?!" Todd yelled, squealing along.

"I got Travis to say yes yesterday." she said softly, looking in his direction. He smiled at her and she smiled back. I blushed when he smiled at me too, but I just turned.

"You should go over there. Me and Todd will be fine." I said, glancing back over to her.

"You sure? If you guys want me to hang out over here--" we cut her off.

"Just go." I said,

"We'll be fine." Todd said, grinning.

"Thanks!" she hugged us again and walked over to Travis and kissed him. They quickly started a conversation.

I remembered that I had two bottles of Santana champagne in my backpack. I shifted uneasily.

"Wanna ditch today?" I asked, looking at Todd.