Baby cut deeper

Chapter 2

Matt's pov-

It's only Tuesday so we still have 2 more weeks to come up with

a story. I honestly don't know what to write it on because there

is no one special to me.

I decide to text Allie and ask her to meet me in the park so we can

get to hang out more. It feels good knowing I could text her and hang out with her whenever I could.

M: morning, meet me by the park around 11? (:

A: see you there.

I hopped out of bed and quickly changed and walked out of the house.

I decide to ride my skateboard to the park just to show off my moves

to Allie( ok so I kinda like her.... But there was no point. I already messed up and left her for my other friends and I knew it hurt her. It even hurt me)

I get to the park and see Allie sitting on the bench reading a book.

I walk over to her and take a seat next to her and ask,

"So what are you reading?"

"Oh um.. The fault in our stars," she said as tucking a piece of her

hair behind her ear.

She then put the book in her bag. There was an odd silence for a bit.

"Hey alls?" I asked

"Yes Matt?" She said still keeping her eyes locked on the pages of her book

"You.. Never really told me why you cut and what happened with you over that summer." I say hesitantly

She looked up at me and just stared at me for a couple of seconds, I guess she was trying to put her words together or something.

She had the beautiful hazel eyes. The kind you could get lost in.

"I hate myself matt, that's why. I hate myself every single day

for not being that girl everyone likes. Everyone hates me and I've

gotten so used to it that I now hate myself. I had no friends to talk to about it and I just needed someone but there was no one. It's like I was trapped in a black hole and had no clue where I was and what to do" she replied and her eyes began to water

"Well I don't hate you," I answered as holding her hand.

She whipped away her tears and said, "Matt after you stopped talking to me I began to question myself for every possible thing I could've done wrong. And at one point I thought u hated my guts."

Just to know I was one of the reasons why she became depressed felt like a dagger going into my chest and there was no way of stopping the sting of pain rushing through my body.

"Allie, I could never hate you, you didn't do anything wrong. It was me. It was my fault. I got too caught up in my other friends and the whole idea of highschool" I said as pulling her in for a hug

We sat there not doing anything but wrapping our arms around each other and it felt like home.

She pulled away from me and asked " wait Matt, why do you cut?"

"It's because I'm worthless and I don't have anyone." I answer

looking down at the side walk.

"Matt your on the football team all the girls adore you, you have everyone," I heard her say

"But Allie I didn't have you. I didn't have my best friend through it all and it messed me up, after the whole mess with my brothers car accident I just fell into a deep black hole of depression for a while and the pain never really seemed to fade, but ever since we started talking again it felt like everything was back to normal again" I replied putting my forehead into my hands

She gave me a small hug and whispered, "but Matt you always had me, I was always there for you through it all"

It felt just like back to the middle school days. Like everything was the same.

*we sat there for about 5 min in the silence*

"But don't you want to recover?" I ask

"I-I guess so" she said as looking down at her sneakers.

"Let's make a deal," I said as sitting up straight.

"I'll let you help me recover"

"Keep going" she nodded

'I-if you let me help you recover" I finished

"Deal" she replies