UNLOVED ( undergoing editing + rewriting )

chapter three : apologies

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sorry

ˈsɒri/

adjective

feeling regret or penitence.

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Taehyung's return home marked a significant moment, but his head was still swathed in bandages, a constant reminder to Jungkook that he had not fully recovered. His arrival was met with warm smiles and eager inquiries from his older brothers, who were determined to care for him and bring a touch of joy to his life once more aswell their father, taking it upon himself to take some time off from work to aid to his son, his oh so beloved son.

While the family gathering in the kitchen seemed filled with laughter and love, Jungkook watched from the doorway, an observer on the fringes of the merriment. As he took in the heartwarming sight of his brothers rallying around Taehyung, he decided to join them, hoping to bridge the emotional gap he felt. However, the moment his eyes fell upon Taehyung, a chill descended upon him. 

"Hey, Jungkook," 

Jin greeted him, offering a warming pat on the head. But the warmth of Jin's gesture seemed to evaporate as Jungkook's response remained cold and distant. His eyes betrayed a frostiness that contrasted starkly with the cheerful atmosphere of the room. he wasn't sure anymore how to respond to gentleness or care, or was it that he beleived he didn't even deserve it? Namjoon, noticing Jungkook's reluctance to engage with Taehyung, playfully teased him about being "cold and heartless." Unbeknownst to the others, Jungkook's frigidity masked the turbulent emotions churning within. His inner turmoil and longing for affection were often concealed behind a façade of indifference.

Jimin, however, could not bear Jungkook's indifference towards Taehyung, especially at a time when his older brother needed support the most. With a stern voice, he ordered Jungkook to either show some warmth or leave the room. Jimin's words cut deep, and Jungkook found himself retreating, overwhelmed by the pain of exclusion once again. Once again, an overwhelming sense of being unloved engulfed Jungkook, like a suffocating shroud that he couldn't shake off. However, he dared not voice his yearning for affection, for he was consumed by an intense fear. It was a fear deeply rooted in his past, a haunting memory that continued to torment him. The memory of the day he had dared to ask for more love from his mother, a request that had ended in tragedy. Her untimely death had become a heavy anchor in his soul, a constant reminder that asking for love could lead to loss, pain, and devastation. 

It was a mindset that relentlessly haunted him, a belief that seeking more affection might sever the bonds he shared with his beloved brothers and father, just as it had with his mother. He fled to his room, attempting to seek refuge, "I have to play overwatch," but his true intentions were quite different. wasn't he too young for this?

In the solitude of his room, Jungkook let his emotional barriers crumble. He didn't open Overwatch; instead, he allowed himself to cry. The tears fell silently, each drop carrying the weight of his unspoken desires. Jin had taken note of Jungkook's withdrawal and was vaguely concerned about his younger brother's emotional state. The other brothers, too, were perplexed by Jungkook's cold demeanor, unsure of how to bridge the gap. unable to decipher why the younger was acting that way -- or at all , for that matter. 

Jimin, however, harbored anger and resentment towards Jungkook for not showing empathy to Taehyung when he needed it the most. As they gathered at the dinner table to celebrate Taehyung's homecoming, a tense atmosphere lingered. Jungkook, ever distant, warned Taehyung not to sit beside him, perhaps afraid he'd do something he's not supposed to and the animosity between them was palpable. Jin, always the peacemaker, attempted to defuse the tension, reassuring Taehyung that he should disregard Jungkook's demeanor. The simple act of kindness momentarily softened Jungkook's eyes, and he wondered if he truly was a burden.

As the night deepened, the three youngest brothers prepared for bedtime. Jungkook, once again, found himself alone on his bed. Jimin and Taehyung shared the middle bed, but Jungkook's bed remained unoccupied, symbolizing the ongoing isolation he felt. Jimin, as always, chose to sleep with Taehyung, leaving Jungkook out in the cold.

In a rare moment of vulnerability, Taehyung whispered an apology to Jungkook while Jimin had briefly left the room. This unexpected admission stirred a whirlwind of emotions in Jungkook.

"for ruining my life?" He was initially taken aback but quickly lashed out, feeling that Taehyung's actions had disrupted his life. "becasue a sorry cannot fix that!"

"Quiet, Jungkook! He's just returned from the hospital, and you're berating and raising your voice at him? Is this how you treat your older brother?"

 When Jimin returned and chastised Jungkook for his outburst, the wounds inflicted by his most beloved brother's words ran deep. Jungkook turned away from them, trying to shield himself from the pain and sorrow that were threatening to consume him.

Despite the dark and desolate night, Jungkook held on to the hope that someday, the bonds between him and his family would be mended, and he could find the love and acceptance he longed for. He cocooned himself in his blanket, as if it could provide a protective shield against the waves of pain and sorrow that threatened to engulf him. His retreat into the fabric and folds of the blanket mirrored his deep desire to hide from the emotional turmoil that was tearing at his young heart.

In the stillness of his solitude, Jungkook didn't speak his apology aloud; instead, he whispered it silently within the depths of his being. It was a heartfelt plea for understanding and a longing for the love and affection that he had always craved, particularly from Jimin, his most cherished hyung. His heart ached with the weight of unexpressed emotions, and the apology lingered as a silent, unspoken bond between them, an attempt to mend the emotional chasm that had formed.

Despite the desolation of the night and the heavy burden that weighed upon his heart, He yearned for a time when he would no longer feel like an outcast within his own family and could finally find the love and acceptance he had yearned for throughout his young life. amidst his burry of thoughts darkness consumed him through his stinging tears.