Oneshot Collection

On The Stool Pt. 2

Prompt: In the previous oneshot, yet continued in Magnus's perspective due to popular demand

Word Count: 450 

Warnings: Nothing, really. Just cowardice. 

Why You Should Read: Because you were the one that asked for it. 

To Enhance the Feels: Listen to the same song in the previous chapter, yet this time from Magnus's perspective. 

Memories of the past few days flooded into Magnus’s brain. He wanted- no, he needed to forget. His heart couldn’t take it. He was so disturbed, hurt, and sad enough that he hadn’t worn any makeup for two days- which was a big deal.

Many people that Magnus had loved had died before- some in his own arms. His loves died of old age, disease, and battle. He had spent lots of time grieving their deaths before moving on. His cure; crying alone in a bed and drinking. Lots of drinking.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Thinking of his bright blue magnificent eyes- gone. His shy personality and love for books- one day forgotten. No, no, no, it was not possible. It was not real. They had lied to him! It was Magnus who had found the body... but Alexander could not be dead. He couldn’t. No.

What was worse, it had all been Magnus’s fault. If Magnus had not broken his heart beyond repair, Alexander would not have… have... ended his future. It was so hard to think about. If only Magnus had been better, been kinder and more forgiving, believed Alec, maybe the love of his life wouldn’t be gone forever.

Grief and loss and pain overwhelmed Magnus until he felt as if he was drowning. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. It hurt so much.

Like a treadmill, tears went down his face and came back again - a never ending loop of pain. Alexander was Magnus's last love. Never could he love again - at least not nearly as strongly. Alexander was the reason Magnus woke up each morning. Now that he was gone... Magnus had no wish to wake up. Forgetting would be better.

Magnus had done the spell before. Of course, he couldn’t remember why or when, but the shadowing sense of forgetting long periods of time will always be with him. He needed to do this. Though nobody would ever remember Magnus and Alec’s midnight talks or strolls in the park- it was for the best. Knowing of Alexander’s death would essentially kill Magnus- he could not continue to live like this.

Lighting candles and finding a spell book, Magnus thought about the consequences of this action. It was worth it, he knew. He couldn’t remember loving so deeply, so hard. Alexander Lightwood was Magnus Bane’s life. Nothing could ever change that- unless Magnus Bane forgot of the existence of the blue-eyed boy.

And so he must.

Tears poured down the warlock’s cheeks. Forgetting was the choice of a coward- and a coward Magnus was. With a small chant of distantly familiar words, Magnus was sprawled on his apartment floor, curiously wondering where he was or why his face was wet.