Dumb Blood(on hold)

Chapter Two- The spirits were strong

I stood in front of the mirror, blinking at Dobby the elf until the visual feedback from my eyes resolved itself into my face. And a lot of shaving cream. The walk to the bathroom had been terrible; resembling the drunken lurch of our neighbour Kobus. I'm pretty sure I'd broken at least seven pinky toes on the way.

Still flapping my eyelids to deal with the light-induced tears, I started scraping away the foam with my fingernails.

David, you sexy beast!

I actually felt some fucking stubble! With a grin on my reflection, I grabbed Michael's razor. Feeling highly masculine, I put the four blades to my chin, and jerked them up to under my ear. They made acquaintance with a pimple on the way, and shredded it to oblivion.

"FUUUUUCK!"

I cried. I'm sixteen, by the way.

*****

I get time raped a lot. This is where you zone out, and snap back into reality, only to realise you've lost out on like fifteen minutes of it. My mental arse is presented to time on a daily basis. Every morning, in fact : My teeth grind robotically spooned cereal while I stare at the wall.

At that particular morning, I had a pleasant change in scenery in the form of a Musca domestica on the crisp white wall. The Musca domestica, more commonly known as the house fly, is a fly of the suborder Cyclorrhapha. It is the most common of all domestic flies in human habitations, and indeed one of the most widely distributed insects, found all over the world. It is considered a pest, and not to be confused with the horse fly.

It was, at that moment, also really fucking interesting.

Crunch crunch.

I'd read somewhere that flies eject saliva on their food, so that it is semi-digested when they actually eat it.
Crunch crunch.

I looked down at my cornflakes.
If I spit on it, will that give my stomach less work?

My mouth slowly opened.
Yes, that's it. Open up a bit more.

A strand of spit slowly abseiled down to my bowl.

"What the FUCK are you doing?"

My head snapped up in surprise, along with the saliva which accelerated progressively, then collided with my eyeball. Disappointingly, there wasn't a "SPLAT" to accompany the embarrassment as my sister Alice cracked herself at my expense.

"You've got issues, David", she shouldered her bag, "Hurry the fuck up, its past seven already!"

Fuckin Hell.

I downed the rest of my breakfast, ran up the stairs, and chewed on some toothpaste while I hastily threw my shit into my bag.

Ain't nobody got time for brushin'.

I caught up with my sister at the door, winking at the housefly on the way. Thank god the other housefly was still asleep. My mom had taken off from work to prepare for the evening's guests.

Disaster struck when Alice and I walked out our yard: We spied a shirtless, potbellied Kobus in his garden next door. And he saw us. His shirt was tucked into the back of his jeans, and he was staggering from his car to the front lawn.

"Walk walk walk " Alice hissed from the corner of her mouth," We might just managed to ditch hi-"

"HEY, DAAAAVE, ALLIIEE!" he called with a slur. "HOW ARE Y'ALL?" having reached his door, he started fumbling with his keys.

Alice tugged on my elbow, visibly annoyed. I mumbled a reply to his question, and watched on as he stumbled over a pot plant straight onto his arse.

"THE CAFOLICKS WERE RIGHT, Y'KNOW," he preached.

"THE SPIRITS WERE STRONG, AND THE BODY IS WEAK!"

He passed out. We walked to school.

So, haven't updated in a while, and this isn't a rather good chapter. It's also really short.
But in my opinion, chapters two to five generally are.

That could just be me being petty.
Any and all helpful comments are really appreciated. I'm not really getting the hang of this writing thing.
Hope you enjoyed it though, vote if you did :)