Oh Olivia!

33. Of Course, It's Stupid!

F E L I X

Passing the huge glass bowl of rice to his mom who thanked him silently with a small dip of her head, Felix once again picked up his chopsticks and and slowly started eating his own share. Beside him Steven was poking his potatoes. For him, they were never the 'right' amount of boiled: either too soft or not soft enough. Initially it was irritating to hear him whine about potatoes but they all got used to it. Now nobody listens to him so he messes around with them hoping any one of his family members would pay attention to his whining.

But nobody ever does.

Mom says it's 'pre-puberty symptoms', whatever that is, and that every other kid goes through with it.

Felix doesn't remember going through any symptoms of the kind. He has always been the quiet, socially awkward kid who doesn't know how to take part in conversations. Being friends with three of the most popular guys at Scivion High had protected him from any kind of bullying that kids like him have to go through.

Well, when he became friends with Asher, Josh and Max in third grade, he never expected them to be popular in high-school. He was not psychic. God knows what they saw in him to stick together all these years. Although he was now friends with a lot of people, he could let his whole guard down only in front of his three best friends.

It's not like the others make him uncomfortable in any way. It's just that he's not sure what to say or do with them. But he has to admit, his senior year was the best part of his high-school life. He never thought he would someday be included in all the crazy adventures that Olivia had introduced in their lives.

But the fact remains unchanged: Felix would always remain the awkward kid.

Although he was born and brought up in Calgary, his physical stature always made him feel different from others. He did not seem to fit in among other people. Well, that's because he doesn't fit in. But he was glad that he did not get to face the same problems as his parents.

Mom and dad were really young when they first arrived in Canada, newly weds at twenty-one years old. They did not know English and the food here was not really up to their liking. But dad had got a job here as a software developer fresh out of college and he did not want to miss that opportunity.

His parents struggled a lot with the language barrier and odd looks and awkward moments while shopping. They had to join English lessons and adjust their appetites in accordance with the food serves here. And Felix doesn't even want to think about how people always pronounce their names wrong. Even now.

He doesn't know what makes him so insecure about himself. He has this deeply ingrained feeling that one day his friends would realise how boring he is and leave him and he would be recognised as a loner and a fool. He knew very deep down, like very, very, very deep down that he was being stupid but he just can't prevent these thoughts from taking over his mind sometimes, especially when he sees people around him laughing and joking with each other and he just sits there like the awkward potato that he is.

"Have you filled your college applications yet?" Dad asked, mixing the vegetable gravy with rice.

"Yes," he replied. "I am not sure what I want to pursue though."

"You can always ask Lucy," mom adviced. "I am sure she can help you."

Felix strutted, not really knowing how to respond to that.

He and his sister were not close. Lucy was older to him by seven years. When Felix was a kid, their relationship was like every other siblings: constant fights, consolations, apologies. . . But once Lucy reached Sophomore year, she became too busy in maintaining her perfect grades and get into a good medical college which she did. She had a tunnel vision and she worked hard towards it but it put a strain on their bond. With hardly any conversation taking place between them with Lucy's busy schedule of going to school and coming home and straight to her room to study endlessly, they slowly drifted apart. During dinner, when usually their whole family would gather together and talk about their day, was just filled with Lucy's ambitions and her plans and her achievements which bored Felix to death.