Tiring Mornings

chapter eleven

Hannah Baxter

As much as I wanted to avoid him, I find Terrance on my walk back to campus.

I had taken a walk around campus in such for a good place to get something to eat, considering that Subway was completely off the table. But all I had seen was a sushi bar and something that looked like a knock-off Burger King. So - since my search for food had been a blast - I decided to just come back and go to the cafeteria, since they always had something.

I walk up the hill that leads towards campus, hands shoved in my jacket pockets. I had refused to think about how much of a dick Terrance had been, and had avoided Stiles most of the day. All my conversations with Amber had been pointless, and I was so annoyed by how off Terrance's actions had made me.

My phone rings in my pocket, but I don't bother reaching for it. I talked to my parents earlier today, so I know it's either, a) Amber asking where I am, or, b) Amber using Stiles' phone to call me and ask where I am. I don't bother checking.

I walk to the top of the hill and stop, seeing a hunched-over, blonde figure sitting under the tree. I bit my lip and hear sobs coming from them, making me widen my eyes slightly. The person looks so familiar; they're crouched over, but I can tell they're on the taller side. His hair is pushed up and away from his face, and when he looks at me with those piercing gray eyes, I know exactly who I've stumbled across.

"Terrance?" I ask, surprised that it's him sitting on the grass, eyes rimmed-red from crying. His eyes widened in shock and I just stare at him, "Um.. Terrance?"

He blinks at me, and I notice how wrecked he looked. His hair is sticking up, clearly from him having run his fingers through it. The first few buttons of his shirt are undone, and his fingers are clamped together so tightly that his knuckles are white. His eyes, though, are the worst thing because they just look shattered.

"Hannah?" he mutters, standing up and dusting off his jeans. Terrance runs a hand through his hair, but only succeeds in making it stick up worse. He pinches the bridge of his nose and awkwardly looks at me, "What're you doing here?"

And I'm angry with Terrance - truthfully, I'm furious with him for treating me as he did. But as he stares at me, I can't help but notice how broken and destroyed he looks. My anger slowly dissipates, and I find myself being more worried about Terrance than angry with him. It's hard to hold anger against him when there's still tears in the corner of his eyes. 

Part of me contemplates shooting his own question back at him, though; asking what he's doing here. I'm curious as to why he's sitting at the top of the hill crying to himself, but my curiosity isn't my main priority right now. And - even though I'm definitely still angry - I can't help but stop myself from asking him the main question.

"Are you okay?' I say softly, taking a step forward, "Like, I mean.. Obviously you aren't okay but are you, um.. all right?"

I'm aware of how stupid I sound asking him if he's anywhere near all right. I prepare for Terrance to shoot something rude back (something I've sadly started anticipating from him after the fight), but instead he gives me a small smile, making his eyes crinkle.

"You're a psychology major, Hannah," Terrance points out lightly, but the obvious pain and sadness is still evident in his features, "do you really ask me if I'm all right?"

Terrance is right. He looks like a mess and asking him that question wasn't the smartest thing. But he doesn't look mad or upset with me; if anything, he looks almost happy to see that I was concerned for him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offer, cocking an eyebrow.

Terrance shakes his head, gray eyes darkening, "No thanks. I think I'm gonna go back and crash, anyway."