Between the Spirit and the Dust

Chapter Twelve

I spent the next two hours unpacking. It was more like I was trying to work through my thoughts rather than really unpacking and by the end of it, I had came up with two solid conclusions.

Firstly, I was terrible at unpacking. I’d just strewn everything around my room, so I had to spend time picking up after myself.

Secondly, I understood why Max and Evie were mad at me. Jenna had been right. I was so focused on what I could for Sylvia that I’d forgotten that I wasn’t in it alone. Whatever reasons Max had for working with us, I knew that part of the reason was because he was my friend. But I hadn’t even thanked him for coming along or for Evie for allowing me to be part of the team 

All I did was to try and keep my distance from them. But what was the point of that when they were already knee-deep in this shit like I was? What was I trying to prove by hiding my insecurities and worries from them?

 After I’d unloaded my clothes at the washing machine, I stood outside Max’s door, wondering whether I should go in and apologize to him. Normally he’d kept his room door open but today it was shut tight. No prizes for guessing who he was trying to keep out.

“Is there something wrong?”

I jumped, having not noticed Evie walking out from the kitchen heading to her room. Well, if I was going to start making things right, I might as well start with her. “Hey, I was just thinking about talking to Max. But it’s okay, I need to talk to you too.”

“Right. Okay.” Evie’s expression towards me was completely neutral. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“I’m sorry about how I’ve been behaving the past few weeks. Everything was just so overwhelming and I guess I’m not used to having someone around that I can rely on after Sylvia—”

“Emily, it’s okay you can stop there. I understand how you feel and I’m glad that you understand why I saw the need to take you off the team. Everything was too overwhelming for you and I think you needed a break. 

“Yeah I know. And I see what you mean now,” I said softly.

“I did wonder whether I was too harsh on you by suspending you after I’d given you such a shock… But I just think that it’s too much pressure for you to handle.”

From the start I’d been sure that I wanted to be part of the team. I’d let Gabriel St. Clair go at the trial and it seemed like my responsibility to help with the investigation. But was that really the right reason to pursue the case? Out of a feeling of guilt, like I owed Sylvia something? 

I didn’t know and maybe I needed the time to figure things out in my head. So I nodded and agreed with Evie, “I think you’re right. I need some time off.”

Her face broke out in a smile. “Good. In the meantime though, I think that we can continue with your lessons. You’ve been doing really well so far and without the urgency of the case, I think you’ll have more room to explore your abilities. 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” I thought back to the past two times that I’d used my powers with Evie by my side. I was getting better at controlling what I could do but I knew that I had a lot more to learn.

Then I remembered something that had been bothering me. “That day when I read Max—I’ve been meaning to ask you—how did he block me out? Is it something that anyone can do?" 

Evie looked confused at my sudden change in topic before she remembered the incident that I was talking about. Max had blocked me out when I caught a glimpse of the book.

“Oh yes, I forgot to explain that to you. When a subject knows that he’s being read, he can choose to block you out from whatever he’s thinking. I suspect that Max panicked and his block came out as a wall.”