Awoken

Chapter 6

Dear Ana,

First and foremost I want to apologise. I know I never was the father you deserved and I regret every day not being able to be a bigger part of your life. But external forces have shaped our lives and forced my hand. Please know that everything that I have done has been to protect you.

By now you have probably discovered the contents of my safe and if so, you are probably looking for answers. I fear giving you them will set you on the path I have tried so hard to avoid for you but I also fear that you have inherited my own natural curiosity. All you need to know is that, for a long time our family was involved in a nefarious world, it took your mother’s life. I could not - would not- see you burdened with the responsibilities of such a life and I could not bare to lose you like I did your mother. Ana, I plead with you not to go searching for more information. Doing so will put you in the firing line. Go enjoy life; travel the world, fall in love, follow your dreams. Digging in the past will only deny you these pleasures as it did for me.

I am sorry that I am leaving you alone and I am sorry we didn’t have more time together. Please know that, although I may not have showed it, I have always loved you and you make me proud every day. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

If I may request one thing I would ask that I am buried rather than cremated.

Please remember me fondly.

Love,

Dad.

Tears pooled in my eyes as I stuffed the letter in my hand bag after reading it through for the third time. I had traveled through life thinking my dad hadn’t cared but over the last week I had begun painting a whole new picture. Not only did he love me, something which I had sometimes doubted, but he had sacrificed so much for so I could have a normal life.

John appeared at the door, “The car is here,” he said, giving me a shy smile.

It had taken me the whole week to pluck up the courage to read my dad’s letter. Now I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed with myself that I had left it so late and wouldn’t be able to fulfil his last request. I knew John would be eager to discover the contents of the letter soon; my history had become an obsession of his. That my whole family had been involved was new and would no doubt send my friend into another study frenzy; personally, I was in no rush to ignore my dad’s warning. Perhaps I could keep him in the dark for a while longer.

Storing my thoughts away for later, I took one last look at myself in the mirror, straightened my black dress and left to clamber into the dark limousine.

Frost coated the secluded grounds of the crematorium, making the leaves of the winter shrubs glisten in the weak sunlight. We had arrived a little early and John had offered to sort out the business inside, leaving me free to walk through the gardens.

I stopped by another memorial bench, reading the plaque and wondering who P. J Holmes had been. Perhaps I could get my dad a memorial bench, place it somewhere tranquil like this.

Sitting down, I breathed in deeply; the scent of the pine trees was oddly calming. It would be so easy to remain out here, to allow the bird song to carry away my troubles. But, the time had come to say a final farewell to my dad, I couldn’t avoid it forever.

As I stood to leave I heard a rustle in the trees. Warning bells sounded in my head and I wheeled around in an attempt to catch the perpetrator but the shadows proved too deep. Taking a couple of hesitant steps forward, I squinted my eyes so as to pierce the gloom. My heart started to hammer as I picked out the silhouette of a man.