My Tattooed Tumblr Boy

The Night Before

It had been a few hours since he told me and I was heart broken although I would never admit that to him.

I had cried, a shit load. But he couldn't know that.

Over the past year or so I had gotten so used to his good morning texts and talking to him everyday. I was so in love with him.

But he was leaving. I wouldn't get to talk to him for 5 months. My baby, the love of my life is boarding his plane right now.

He doesn't know this but the tears are flowing. God I'm gonna miss him.

He just told me his last goodbye.

God I wish summer was over so I had something to occupy myself with.

Let me recap.

Two years ago, I was just a 13 year old girl on the Internet going through a rough patch with my then boyfriend at the time and that's when I met him.

That's when I met Farren. I was only 13 and he was 18. He was there for me and eventually we started texting. Here we are two years later.

Irrevocably in love with each other. And he has to go. Five months seems like forever when you're young and in love.

He told me this morning about his departure and as the hours went by he made me promise him not to cry.

Pinky promise!

I'll admit I have broken the promise once or twice. I'm trying my hardest not to think about it.

In the past two years I had only gotten a description of him. I had never even seen a picture and I never asked. He always told me he didn't give out his online information and it hurt so I didn't push it.

I remember when I first met him. He told me he never believed in love and was never going to get married.

The same man who not a day goes by when he doesn't tell me that he loves me.

I know he's scared shitless and so am I but like I promised him I would never walk away from him no matter what happens in the next five months.

You know what else is scary? He just might as well come back a married man! Yup you read that right!

His mom might make him marry because of his faith. (She's Indian and apparently arranged marriages are still acceptable)

That scares me even more. Not only is he leaving me for five months but he also could be having an arranged marriage set up.

He spent all of today telling me how much he loved me and didn't deserve me and for the first time in two years I saw a picture of him.

And you know what? He's a tumblr boy. But I knew that already.

3:27 am

I'm laying here in bed, and I'll admit I've cried more then a few times.

It hasn't even been a day and I miss him already. I wish these 5 months would go by faster.

Hell I wish these two years would end, so I could finally see him.

I'm laying here hugging my pillow wishing it was him. I keep wanting to think that in the morning I'll wake up to his good morning texts and that this will all have been a horrible night mare.

Although we can't all be as lucky.

I don't know what I'm going to do without him. He's become a part of my daily routine and I can't imagine a day without him. He isn't even in the states anymore.

He's somewhere in the sky, and I hope where ever he is he's thinking of me too.

I love you Farren.
I miss you.
Come back soon.
Don't forget me.
Don't let there be a girl waiting when you get there.
Hate your job in Australia.
Come back to me.

Take me away to January.

Take me away to August 10th, 2016.

My 18th birthday, the day I'll finally be free.

That's the day when I start the rest of my life, hopefully with him by my side.

I'm dying inside.

My Tattooed Tumblr Boy.

He told me earlier that he would even get a little J tattooed on him and I made him promise to get it on his ass.

And maybe one day I'll get his name. On my hip maybe. In one of those cliche arrow hearts.

Oh gosh Farren, I miss you so much.

He feels so shitty for making me fall in love with him, but I feel shitty because he's all I've ever wanted.

This is my promise not to cry anymore. (Although all it takes is one song to trigger the tears)

If it means a lot to you by A day to remember came on earlier and I was bawling like a baby as I sang the whole song.

Come back sooner.

5 months please speed by.

I love him.

I need him by my side.