Diaries of the Thick Girl Committee

Tracy's Epilogue

Okay, so this chapter is just... IDK. Anyway, I tried to do this in the most basic, simplest way possible because, gosh, I'm tired of the dramatic. Anyway...continue.

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 I can't believe we have been together for a week and I'm already doing this. I suppose sooner is better than later but I couldn't help but feel as if we were moving too fast. That was just my insecurities talking, though. This means so much to him and if he thinks I'm ready then I must be. He wouldn't put me in such a compromising position if he wasn't sure I could handle it. I'm only doing it because I love this man.

“Mommy, Marcus is here!”

Maleek ran in my room, excitedly. As I sat on the edge of my bed he jumped in my lap. I let out a playful grunt.

“Goodness, boy, you are too heavy for your own good.”

He laughed even though I was partly serious. He really is heavy. I don't even try to pick him up anymore. I love him and I would break my back for him, just not under that circumstance.

“Just part of becoming a man.” A voice came from the door.

Lord, I still get chills at the sound of his voice. It's just a vibration that sets through my whole body. I swear, I think he knows it too. I'm not able to tell if it's really his charm or if he uses his good looks as an advantage. My mind settled between the two and my eyes settled on the man leaning in my door frame. His arms crossed along with his feet, his appearance never falters. He manages to look amazing 24/7 and that was one thing I couldn't understand. I still feel inadequate around him at times, but he never fails to remind me, I'm his equal.

With his nice fitted jeans and red, v-neck sweater, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He knows I love his casual look and I could see the teasing in his dark eyes. Since that night I can read him like a book. No one else may notice but his eyes hold everything. It seems as if he wears his emotions pinned to his shirt. Well, at least to myself.

My eyes met his dark ones and my heart skipped a beat. I had to remind myself that my child was in my lap, just to get rid of all my wild thoughts.

“A man?” I questioned looking up at him “No, he will always be my baby.”

I looked down at Maleek and kissed his head. He cheesed at me shyly and jumped off my lap. He puffed out his chest as he walked and stood next to Marcus.

“I'm becoming a man.” He barked out. His face was mean and his once innocent voice went as deep as he could possibly make it. Which, I might add, wasn't so deep. Still, the thought that he tried was funny. It was also breaking my heart, because it was true. He was becoming a man and as much as I didn't want to see it happen, it was happening before my eyes. Every moment that he spends with Marcus, I can see it more and more, and I suppose that made me a little bit more comfortable. Marcus is a great man and is such a great male figure for Maleek. If anyone was the best role model for my child, it would be him.

I fall back into the bed and laugh at the ceiling. My hands covered my face from the disbelief. My child was a mess.

“Oh my goodness.” I laughed through my hands. “What have you done to my child?”

Marcus chuckled and the vibrations returned. He's killing me slowly.

“Okay, Tracy” he spoke through his laughs “It's time to go now.”

I inwardly groaned. It's not that I didn't want to do it... just not today. It would be a complete lie if I said I wasn't nervous. The butterflies in my stomach were about to pour out from my mouth. I was dripping with anxiety and it gathered in a puddle at my feet. Marcus had told me plenty of times that I had nothing to worry about and I believe him, but it still did nothing to calm my nerves. I'm sure my sanity was tired of playing boomerang with me but it wasn't my fault.