Sat in the middle of the bathroom floor, Ryan held a note that Brendon left for him.
Ryan,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things actually.
I'm sorry for ever coming into your life - I'm known for making people's lives worse.
I'm sorry for ever expecting you to be my friend, or even remotely like me. It was silly of me to think that. I've always known that my own "friends", like Spencer, Sarah, Jon, Pete, etc. hate me...just like you. Just like you said to me, more than once. Just like Spencer said to me today. I can't even tell when it's in a joking manner anymore. I don't want to tell you all the details, because I don't want you to feel pity for me (but who I am kidding? You wouldn't care).
Anyway, I used to be in a "toxic" relationship. They made me fall in love with them and they always said they hated me, (and many other things) but when I would get offended, they would laugh at me for believing it and then hit me. So, I thought his hatred was his way of showing his love. I still don't know if it really was...
I didn't want you to have to intrude in on Pete's life so early since you've only been here 5 days and you'll only be staying for 2 more, I've decided to stay away from home until you are settled in with Pete. I'll be there a day before school starts again, most likely. You can continue staying friends with the others, of course, since you've known them longer anyways, but I think whatever relationship or friendship I had with them (including you) is over. I'm so sorry for being a nuisance to you - I'm sorry for myself, for still feeling so attached to you and all the others after you've...told me you hate me. I have no one else, but I'll find someone. I swear. I'll manage.
Goodbye forever, Ry.
You were the best thing to ever happen to me.
- B
Ryan cocooned himself into the corner of the bathroom, reading the note over and over again, willing himself not to break down and cry, but failing miserably. Did he take really it seriously? Every single time? Did he take him seriously every time he called him ugly, or stupid, or a bitch? Ryan had thought they had an established friendship where they could lovingly insult each other without actually meaning it. Ryan knew that he loved Brendon with his whole heart, he knew that Brendon was the most handsome person he'd ever lay his eyes on, and he may be a little bit stupid, but who's to say Ryan wasn't either? Ryan regretted everything as he took it all in and reminisced about every time he'd call Brendon stupid, and then every time Brendon would endlessly...encourage him.
——————————————————
ryebread is typing...
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ryebread: brendon
ryebread: please come back
ryebread: brendon i swear i didn't mean anything that i said
ryebread: i don't hate you at all
ryebread: i don't think you're ugly, or stupid, or a bitch, or anything else harmful i've said to you
ryebread: i would never purposely insult you
ryebread: i was just joking about all of it
ryebread: please just tell me where you are
ryebread: i need to know that you're safe
ryebread: i don't want to have to tell your mom or dad
ryebread: you know how they are...they'd have a panic attack...and they'd blame me, so honestly i'm too scared...
ryebread: i know that sounds really selfish and i'm sorry but..
ryebread: if they call the police about it and they find out what i had to do with it..
ryebread: would they let me around you anymore?
ryebread: i don't know how it works but i just really want you to come back
ryebread: and i want to hug you and sing you that song that i wrote..you know i promised that we could sing it together when i was done writing it
ryebread: and i'll feed you chocolate chip cookies with milk
ryebread: we can make them together while we listen to blink-182 if you want
ryebread: please?
ryebread: i need you
ryebread: you're the only thing that keeps me going
ryebread: you saved my life
ryebread: you took me from my dad aka the worst person in existence
ryebread: you reconnected me with my best friends
ryebread: but most importantly, you were always there for me.....you cheered me up when i was in the worst moods and you encouraged me to do things that i wasn't confident about
ryebread: you made me finally feel like i was worth something in this giant universe
ryebread: you made me think...maybe...just maybe, this little speck of dust in this whole giant galaxy CAN make a difference
ryebread: and i'm..so grateful for you
ryebread: i'm so happy you came into my life
ryebread: and i hope you know that
ryebread: i hope you know that i would never hate you no matter what you did
ryebread: you gave me the world and i just tossed it away
ryebread: no...you WERE my world
ryebread: and i tossed YOU away
ryebread: and i'll never forgive myself for that
ryebread: just know that i love you
ryebread: platonic or whatever the fuck, i don't even know
ryebread: but just know i love you, i care about you, and i'm always here for you, i'm always wanting you to be with me
ryebread: i'm sorry for eating your skittles too
ryebread: i'm sorry for being such a sarcastic bitch when we first met..
ryebread: i love everything about you!!
ryebread: your shaggy hair, your pretty eyes, your smile, your whole goddamn personality and sense of humor. your VOICE, don't even get me started on that.
ryebread: to put it shortly
ryebread: i was trapped in this dark world for so long. i felt so alone and i felt so isolated. i had no one that i depended on..i had no one i could trust. it was like i was falling into this never-ending pit of darkness and devastation and no one could reach down and grab my hand and pull me out. i felt like no one would ever love me or care about me. no one would ever save me from the dark.
ryebread: and then you came. brendon urie. this strange light that i've never seen before, shining brightly in front of me, illuminating the dark pit around me.
ryebread: it was then that..someone finally grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the pit. you showed me the bright side of things. what it was like to have a friend to tell everything, to call all night and text all day, to tell all your secrets that you'd never DREAM of telling anyone.
ryebread: someone that made your life have MEANING.
ryebread: you gave me purpose.
ryebread: you were the sun, and i was the moon
ryebread: and the moon met the sun and fell in love
ryebread: and now...
ryebread: /i'm/ the sun and /you're/ the moon, and i have to grab your hand and pull you out of the pit too.
read
YOU ARE READING
When the Moon Fell in Love With the Sun {ryden kik}
Fanfiction"You were the sun, and I was the moon, and the moon met the sun and fell in love. But now, I have to be your sun and pull you out of this dark place, too, my moon. I will show you that moons are bright too, just like you showed me." finished oct. 5...
