Lost & Insecure

Fifteen - ...Fight For It

Ashley was there for Katie. She wanted Katie to be happy, and she knew that Jesse could never be the cause of that happiness. Watching her best friend put on a fake smile and brave the world was enough to make Ashley just as unhappy as Katie. It had been less than a week since Katie told Ashley, and already Katie both loved and regretted that she told Ashley the truth about her. Granted, Ashley always knew, but Katie liked to at least pretend she could have been straight. Or at least pretended to be.

Only two days had passed since Katie and Dana spoke last, but to Katie those two days felt like an eternity. She attempted to send Dana messages, she even called her, but Dana wouldn't reply or pick up her phone. So after school on Friday, Katie walked across the street and rang Dana's doorbell.

Katie's false smile faded when Eddie opened the door. Katie asked for Dana, but Eddie apologized, "Sorry, Katie. Dana isn't here. She had to be at work tonight."

"Work?" Katie assumed Eddie had lied to her. She knew Dana, and she knew Dana didn't have a job.

"Yeah. She applied a little over two weeks ago and started about a week ago. She works at some theater or stage or something a little more than half an hour from here."

Katie was wrong. Eddie hadn't lied. She had neglected to realize how long it had been since she and Dana actually spoke. Really talked. Katie couldn't recall the last time they spoke like they weren't complete strangers. "Thanks, Eddie." Eddie nodded and closed the door gently after Katie began to walk away.

Katie hung her head low as she slowly made her way back across the street. She was only a few steps from her front door when Ashley pulled up and shouted out of her window. "Hey, why so glum, chum?" Katie turned around and couldn't help but smile slightly at Ashley. She shrugged in response to the question. "Well," Ashley parked her car in the street and made her way to Katie, "you better get ready. We're going to a concert." Ashley's beaming smile convinced Katie in an instant to listen to her and fully cooperate.

It didn't take long for Katie to get ready. After grabbing some extra cash, and telling her mom what was happening, Katie climbed into Ashley's car and they headed to the concert. "So..." Katie interrupted the awkward silence between them.

"Katie, no offense but I hope you know that the only reason I'm taking you to this concert is because of Dana. She's a stagehand at the venue and got us backstage passes."

"You knew about Dana's job?"

"Well yeah. She still likes me," Ashley teased. Katie resisted the laugh that played on her lips, but she couldn't stop the small smile that appeared.

Ashley and Katie were backstage for fifteen minutes before someone they knew finally walked over to them. Marissa's smile sent Katie into a downward spiral. Marissa could make anyone feel happier by just smiling. That didn't work with Katie. Marissa's smile made Katie think of Dana. Thinking of Dana meant thinking of Dana's smile. And laugh. And sarcasm. And captivating eyes. And the way she could look at Katie and see everything she was hiding. And the way Katie wanted her.

It only made sense that Katie didn't enjoy Marissa's smile. Katie felt terrible that she couldn't even look at Marissa, but it hurt her too much. Katie had known Jesse for as long as she could remember – which meant she knew Marissa as well. Over the years of knowing Marissa and eventually dating Jesse, Katie did grow to care about her. However, all that caring went downhill when Dana moved in. Katie felt something towards Marissa that she never had before. She was resentful. Katie was jealous. She was jealous of how close Marissa and Dana seemed to become. She was jealous that Marissa was often the one making Dana laugh. She was jealous that Marissa was most likely the one making Dana happy when no one else could. She was jealous that Marissa was, and had, everything she could have wanted.