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A few days have passed since I've seen and spoken with Ethan, receiving his handmade necklace that same night. I haven't taken it off since and I'm not planning on it either.
The present was the most thoughtful one I've ever gotten. He didn't have any options, but he created one, for me. Though, I'm not a fan of birthdays in general, whether it's someone elses or my own. Especially when it's my own.
To me, birthdays are just a reminder of how fast time is passing. It makes me regret not doing more and it makes me anxious. It even gets me to the point where I feel like suffocating until the day is over, only to get back into ignoring the undeniable fact that every year will pass equally quick. That is, until another birthday of mine hits me again and the cycle repeats itself.
As I bent down to grab my notebook from my bag, two voices sound from the nearest corridor, startling me. I recognize their voices as they become louder. It seems like they're getting closer to the room, and it's followed by the opening of the door to reveal Ethan and Cole.
''Please, fix this.'' Cole is first to speak up as he walks towards my desk, waiting until Ethan gives in and sits down. Surprisingly, he doesn't object, even though by the sound of their loud argument in front of the door, I expected him to be stubborn. I open my mouth to say something but Cole continues.
''He's been picking fights with everyone about the littlest things and denies eating. It has been what? Nearly two days of nothing but water?'' He glares down at Ethan as if expecting him to confirm or deny this. ''I know he was supposed to come in last before dinnertime, but I figured this couldn't wait any longer. At this point I think you're the only one who'll get a word out of him.''
I simply nod at Cole, quietly thanking him for letting me know about this situation. Cole likes Ethan because Ethan isn't one to gang up or fight with random inmates. I'm guessing, from a psychological perspective, that he's trying to cope by taking it out on others. But what is he trying to cope with?
Good days are deceiving. Just because Ethan and I had a good time a few days ago does not mean this thing that is bothering him is new. When we suppress anger, feelings, memories and hurt, we can do it for a long time. The longer we do it, the more painful and extreme the sudden break-down can become.
As Cole leaves and closes the door behind him, I look up to study Ethan's expressionless face. He has a few days worth of stubble on his face and dark circles under his eyes, revealing he hasn't slept well since I've last seen him. He goes through his unusually messy blonde locks, looking frustrated, concerned and almost physically ill. He looks vulnerable.
I've never seen him like this before.
I get up from my seat behind the desk and walk closer to him. Trying to be careful and not too overwhelming at once, I place my hand on top of his. He looks up with an almost confused expression, yet his frown softens a little.
