This is a book of imagines + preferences I've been writing since September 2017. These won't be perfect, but the whole point of me writing this is to try and develop my skills, and write about my favourite TV series, Teen Wolf.
Summary ; Allison was your best friend. Once she died, a dark frost covered your heart, and you weren't capable of love. Love was nothing to you. Life was nothing to you. So, when you decided to end it all, the one thing that you thought you could never feel ends up saving your life.
Warnings ; coarse language, suicide, depression
Word Count ; 1572
[a/n] this imagine is not about romanticising mental illness. It is about showing that even when you feel alone, like no one loves you, and like your only option is self harm or even commit suicide, there is always someone that cares for you. I care for you. You friends, family, teachers, co-workers, even. There is always someone there. You just have to let them in. I am telling you. I, and many others, love you and I will be here with open arms if you ever need someone to talk to.
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Nothing. There was nothing. No pain. No tears. No emotions. Nothing. Nothing in my mind. Nothing left to stay for. More importantly, there was no one in my heart. No one that cares for me the same way I care for them. I had no one. I had nothing. There was no reason for me to be here. No reason for me to be alive. No one who would benefit from my presence. Well, there was something. There was blood. Lots of it. There was a life. One too many. I had to get rid of the blood that made me keep my life. I got up off of the bathroom floor, unsticking my thighs from the white tiles, and headed down the stairs. I looked into all the rooms. The driveway. The backyard. No one, as usual. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen, then made my way back up the stairs. Before going into the bathroom, I went into my room and sat the knife on my dresser, then grabbed a pen and my notebook, then scribbled down a note. I ripped it out of the book, then picked the knife back up and made my way to the bathroom. I sat down on the floor, crumpled up the note in my hand, and took a deep breath. What was there to be afraid of? This is what I wanted. What everyone wanted. I took the knife in my surprisingly shaky hand, and made the deepest gash I had ever made on my wrist. I watched on as the blood poured out. My face was blank. And, soon enough, my mind was too. Everything was as dark as my heart. Too dark for any light to be there ever again.
[Scott's POV]
I pulled up to her house on my bike, turning the engine off and loosening my helmet. I took it off, hooking the inside onto the handlebars. I took a deep breath, and the unmistakable smell of blood filled the air. I perked my head up, straining my hearing to see if there was anything unusual happening. I didn't hear anything, so I got off my bike, quicker than usual. As I got closer, I realised the blood was coming from her house. I ran to her front door, then cursed as I jiggled the handle. Locked. I extended my wolf nails, then gently picked the lock. I almost gagged at how strong the smell of blood was as I opened the door. I ran in, calling her name, trying not to focus on the smell. I then stopped, and took a deep breath through my nose to know where it was coming from. I bolted upstairs, and kept smelling the air. I realised I didn't have to. Blood went out into the hallway from under the bathroom door. "(Y/N)!" I screamed, going as quickly as I could to get into the room. The door was locked again. I just kicked it down this time. I was about to run in, and then I stopped in my tracks as the images that were in front of me processed in my head and I realised that that was (y/n). That was (y/n). I ran in, letting my tears fall in buckets. How could she do this to herself? I ignored all the blood, and dropped to my knees in front of her. Her eyes were closed, and the knife was limp in her hands. I put two fingers to her neck, and tried to find a pulse. Faint, but I was there. I looked around frantically, seeing if there was anything I could do. I looked at my hands. Covered in blood. I then looked back to her face. If this would save her life, I had to do it. I didn't even think. She could die any second. My eyes lit up a glowing red like fire. My fangs sunk into her shoulder. But she didn't move. She didn't wake up. Her eyes didn't open. My eyes faded back to their usual brown, and my fangs shrunk. I wasn't fast enough. I could have saved her, but I'd failed. My head fell into my hands, and I was about to get back up, when I saw her hand, holding something. I extended my shaking hands, and looked at the note. "Nothing. No one." More tears cascaded down my face. This is why she'd done it. She felt like she didn't have anyone or anything. It had been hard for her this past year, with loosing her best friend, Allison. But she never told us it was this bad. I would have guided her through it all. I would have been by her side through everything if she'd told me. I sprung my head up from the note as a short, raspy breath escaped her lips. Her eyes were slightly opened, looking at me, but not really seeing anything. "S-Scott?" She whispered, "wha-why are you here?" I stared at her, blinking, but too shocked by what just happened to answer. "I came to talk to you. You haven't been at school for days. We were all worried about you," I took a shaky breath, still in shock by what just happened, "and we had good reason to be." I said, looking into her eyes. Her blank face stared at me, but I could see the wheels turning behind her eyes. "How am I still here?" She whispered, and this time I didn't meet her eyes. She looked down to her wrist, which was now healed. "Did you bite me?" She asked, but his time, her voice wasn't a whisper. She almost yelled the words, her voice rising at the end of the question. I jumped, not expecting her to speak that loudly. "Well what else did you think I would do? Huh? Leave you here to die?" I yelled, now standing up in front of her. She stood too, but stumbled and had to hold the edge of the sink. "Yes! That's what I wanted, Scott! I want to die. I want to be with Allison, okay? I don't want to be in this shitty town anymore! But you just had to come along and be the hero that you always are! I'm sick of you always having to fix everything!" She screamed, pushing me away as she yelled the last word. Tears were streaming down her face, and some rolled down my cheeks. I choked on my words. I had so many things I wanted to say to her, but I couldn't find the voice. "I... (y/n)," I began, but didn't know what to say, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about Allison and I'm sorry about not being there for you. I really am. You just... you didn't tell me. You know I would've done anything for you." I said, looking down to the floor. "But why, Scott? Why do seem to care about me so much? Why do you-" I cut her off. I couldn't listen to he words anymore. "Because I love you! I love you and it fucking breaks me to see you like this!" I yelled, throwing my hands all over the place. "No," she said, through a sob, "don't do that to yourself, Scott. Don't love me." I stepped towards her, but she shoved me away. "I just can't help it! I can help loving you! You're the most amazing person I've ever met and I..." I trailed off. I couldn't even finish my sentence. "Scott..." she began, looking at me and wiping her tears away. "Don't love me. Please. It'll just hurt you. It'll hurt you even more than this does. I can't love you back, Scott. After everything, I discovered that loving someone only gets you hurt. I thought I was safe, loving Allison. But I was wrong. I was wrong to love anyone at all. The pain of it all overtook me, and I wasn't even me anymore. So, I stopped loving anyone. I don't love anyone anymore. I've forbidden myself from ever feeling love again. Even if I did want to fall in love again, I wouldn't be able to. I-I don't know how." She said, looking down to the ground and playing with her fingers, not meeting my eyes. "Hey. It's okay. Well, it's not really. But it's okay to love someone else. After Allison died, I felt as though I was cheating her by falling in love with you. But, I realised it's about what she would have wanted. She would have wanted to be remembered as a hero. One of the strongest of us all. And she would have wanted us to move on. Be happy without her, but not let her legacy die. She would have wanted us all to love again. To feel that feeling we all felt so strongly for her. So that's why I let myself fall in love with you. She would have wanted you to love someone else, too." I said, walking towards (y/n) slowly. "Even if you don't know how to love, I'll help you. I'll guide you though this. I'll help you feel again. I will. I'll make it happen, I promise. Just let me in." I whispered to her, walking even closer. She looked up at me, the smallest of smiles playing on her lips, and she nodded.
