Survival of the fittest

Chapter 25.

The clock was around 1am when my parents finally fell asleep. I had four layers of clothes on and I was pretty much ready for spending more than
a few hours outside. It was not like I had any idea for what I was going to do when I left my house, but I know that I can't spend the final days that
I have left in a claustrophobic room with only a few windows to keep me rather sane. I also knew that I really shouldn't leave my own house in the middle of the night, especially not if
I am alone, but I honestly don't care.
Both my parents have been after me non stop ever since we got back from the hospital and I know that they are worried about me, but I am seriously losing my fucking mind. I'm 18 years old and I need some some privacy. It would be extremely weird to achieve some needs that I have and observed like a hawk by my parents. The thing I noticed first when I arrived outside was the coldness of the night. I could not be happier that I had been smart enough to dress properly for the cold night. I decided to walk to the park a few blocks away and when I reached the familiar place, I sat down on one of the many swings. I had 2 earplugs to keep myself entertained and I had my phone laying in my lap. I have no idea why, but music has always been a way for me to keep myself from the negativity that came as a little bonus with my brain cancer. I know that all of it sounds cliche, but music has for me been a really good way to escape all the fucked up things in our world. It was not until my familiar ringtone went off, signalling that I had a new text message that I realised for how long I had zoomed out. I felt mostly confused that someone texted me in the middle of the freaking night, but when I saw who it was, I felt how my heart started beating so much faster.
"Are you awake?❤️"
The text message from my boyfriend made me want to cry out. Alec is way too precious for the world and I hate myself for lying to him about the fact that I won't get treated for my stupid disease that destroys my fucking life.
"Yeah❤️"
I sent away a short answer to his text and couldn't help but flash a smile to myself. I am so damn lucky to have a boyfriend like Alexander. I know the two of us haven't been together very long, but I really do love him. I can't say that I ever have been in love any time before, but I know that the way
I feel for Alexander is much stronger than just ordinary liking. I have met his beautiful family and all I can say is that they makes me feel safe, like I am at home. I smiled one more time as my phone rang again, signalling I had received one more text message.
"Shouldn't you be asleep, baby? Are you doing okay?❤️🙈"
How typical Alec. He's always caring about everyone and if a person close to him is suffering , he'll do anything he can to protect that person and he would never give up, which is one of the reasons why Alec is truly perfect.
"I'm fine❤️ Don't worry"
When I had responded, I turned my phone off and stood up from where I was sitting on the swing. I knew that
I probably should return back home before my parents notices that I left our house in the first place. It took a few minutes, maybe ten, to return to my house and when I finally reached the familiar building, I walked up to my bedroom and threw myself down on my bed. The clock was now about 3am and I knew that I would be very tired tomorrow. I fluffed my pillows and when I felt satisfied enough, my eyelids felt beyond heavy. I won't lie, it took me only seconds to fall asleep and join the dreamland where all of our dreams are achievable. The next day I woke up by the quiet sound of my door that opened and the thing I saw first when I opened my two eyes was the angry look on my dad's face.
- I know you sneaked out yesterday. Are you out of your mind? He asked
- I needed some air, I said and could not help but let out a really loud sigh
- You could have died, dad answered
- I'm not that sick, I said and felt like I would start crying any minute now
- Magnus, you know well that you're that sick, my father answered sternly and looked at me with two tired eyes
- Whatever, I said and tried my best to not look into my father's two eyes
My father let out a loud sigh and left my room after a while. I really know that he's more worried now than he ever has been, but I am going out of my damn mind if he's going to keep watching over me. Like I mentioned before, I really need some privacy. I quickly grabbed my phone from my nightstand and then I stood up from my bed and walked over to my very own bathroom. I could feel how my two legs felt weaker than normal as
I made my way over the floor, but I tried to ignore it the best I could. It wasn't until I looked into the mirror that I realised how pale I was. I had dark rings under my two eyes and I could barley recognise my caramel coloured skin anymore. I signed out loud again for what honestly felt like the millionth time and started to get undressed. All I really wanted was to take a hot shower and then call Alec. When I no longer had any layers of clothes on, I stepped into the shower and turned on the water. Everything was perfect, well, until I noticed the very first piece of hair that got stuck between my fingers. I so felt broken and sick to my stomach when I knew that this could not be good. I quickly left the shower and dried my soaked body rather quickly. When I looked into the mirror again, I felt so happy that I barley couldn't see the space I had lost hair from, which meant that no one else would see it either. I got dressed in a new pair of clothes and walked back into my room with my phone in my hand. I turned it on for the day and the first thing I saw was the message Alec had sent yesterday when I had turned off my phone and returned back to my beautiful house.
"Good❤️"
The message was a response from all the things we talked about yesterday and I couldn't help myself but smile.
I decided to answer quickly and then walk down to the beloved kitchen to at least try to eat some kind of food.
"Can you come over?❤️"
I guess that Alec had his phone with him because it took only seconds for him to answer with a new message.
"Of course. I'll be there in 5 minutes. Can't wait to see you❤️"
I smiled brightly and responded that I couldn't wait to see him either and then I walked down the many stairs.

// TBC \\