Twisted Love stories of a nobody

First time smitten

Twisted Love stories of a nobody

By:tash07

First time smitten

The first time i was smitten was a long time ago but it only feels like yesterday. It was my first time and who knows it could have been infatuation but at the moment i thought it was real and it was love. Ash as he was to be called lived a great distance from me but it did not matter, partly because we talked each day. We shared our experiences our likes,dislikes and everything ,we became close. What hurts the most i guessed was the distance. Altho we talked i could not help but miss that physical connection just being close.

As the days passed by our relationship grew i could remember it well. It was filled with laughs, flirty comments and he called me his girlfriend something i smiled about. It was the greatest but i could not stop that nagging question,"Would we ever meet?" Two days before Valentines i just happened to mention it. Somehow it got ignored so i left it alone.

Valentines came i was happy we talked,we shared our moments even tried to skype but it did not work out but we were still happy. It was my first Valentines and for the first time i was not alone i had someone. It made me the happiest person to know that someone loved me and just knowing i was loved.

Still this question gnawed at me. I was afraid somehow deep down that i would love to much and that would be my downfall. Maybe it was. Two days after Valentines i asked again. What he said i would always remember. "Even when i'm married i want you close to me." Words that stayed with me and would probably, forever. I felt like an afterthought; burnt.

I did not talk to him that evening, i was still in shock. I thought it was my fault. I expected too much. We would never have met, he would not. I guess his words sunk in deep because before i know it i was crying. Maybe it was weak of me but when you put all your trust, your faith into your very first love the hurt is too much.

I left him. I had to i could never remain. When he married he would have someone and a responsibilty if i stayed i would be his cause for cheating. I closed my eyes and hoped that my heart would close too. It took a while and maybe it's still healing. As i look back today i think i did the right thing. Even if my heart had bled, the hurt i felt eventually started to dissipate. Healing takes time and as i lay here now i recall something he said on our first conversation. Three words i thought were the closest things to me. "I Love You."