Songs Collection I: A Permanent Hug From You

Hello, Westley.

This is a jumper. That’s common sense.  

I don’t know if you still remember giving another jumper to me on that night but I felt all the butterflies in my stomach flutter when you reached out and told me to wear it on the way home.

I don’t even know if you still remember that.

But I still remember it. I still remember details about you which you gave away to me that night. I still remember details of that night.

That is how much you mean to me.

It was the night of my birthday. It was one of the reasons I remember it very clearly. It was the best birthday ever.

This is why.

__

As you have always known, I’m the boring girl who’s at home by 7 pm. I’ve memorized the majority of the internet, and I prefer staying in my corner at home than to actually venture out of the four corners of my place.

I’m not dressed for the party that night. I wasn’t even dressed for the night. I was in my usual thin and long cotton shirt, a denim overall and converse sneakers.

Carlo and Seth, two of your best buds, apparently, asked me if I could help him out in his assignment for Mathematics. I know a good deal about that week’s  topic so I took his favor. I told him to wait for me at his house since I had after-class duties for the teachers.

Let’s skip to this stuff.

I was at Carlo’s house at around 5:30, just about two hours since we splitted ways in school. I taught Carlo and Seth, alright. We finished at around 7 pm, just in time when I had to go already.

“Stay here, Ashley. We’re having a party” Carlo said.

 “I have to go.” Because my mom would worry.  

“Come on, Ashley.” He pleaded. “Just stay for.. maybe an hour?”

“But—“

“Come on, Westley’s going to be here.” Seth added.

That caught me.

I’ve liked you since the day you walked into English class, Westley. I was so happy when I found out we’re having History together. Then, my feelings were confirmed when you auditioned for the lead role in the latest school play. You sang and acted so well and you appreciated literature and theatre the way I love it-- your athletic skills and wit were a bonus. That’s why I started to like you. You caught my eyes, my heart, my feelings… You had me falling, Westley.

The feelings sparked.

But those feelings, I admit, made being laboratory partners last year really hard.

I think your friends knew this but you didn’t. I think this is why they asked me to tutor them the same night.

But anyway, people started coming in a few moments after that conversation. The night was starting to get deeper, but the party was just about to get to its peak. I was sitting on the couch by the living room while people were being tossed around after getting drunk, or smoking—I don’t know. It’s actually surprising how those people were already wasted while it was still too early to get that wasted.

That night, I also found you hanging out with a few of your other friends in the other side of the room. Your eyes a luminous stormy blue standing out, and your hair ruffled and wavy. You were wearing this jumper, holding a glass of iced tea—it’s too dark to be something alcoholic. I took glances at you, looking if you noticed I was there too because for all I know, you had no idea I was there tonight.