Sequins are a Broke Diva's Best Friend

Chapter One: The Lonely, Post-Tornado Britney Spears Wig

I walk around the small stage, lip syncing and moving to the beat of Toxic, by Britney Spears. No one is really watching me perform; more occupied by their friends or the alcohol they're ingesting. At one point during the bridge of the song, I drop into a split. A drunk, straight girl gives a loud "Yasss" and hands me a dollar.

By the end of the performance I have a grand total of five dollars in tips. And then the club will give me forty-five dollars for being booked. The biggest downside of only being able to get booked in literally the emptiest gay bar in the entirety of New York City. Thank god doing drag isn't my only way of making money, or else I would be living on the streets- not like I'm doing any better with that joke of an apartment I live in. But with drag and working at the pet store, I make just about enough. And at least that puts a roof over my head.

Once I get off of the stage, I go to the room in the back of the club. It has a tiny mirror on the wall, a tattered couch, and a set of shelves. It's a place where the performers can get ready before their turn to perform, talk to each other, or just a place to leave our stuff. I walk in, then flop down onto the couch. It smells like someone's dirty pantyhose, but I'd rather sit there then stand in these heels any longer.

"Evian, I saw you out there. You looked good, girl.", said Aisha Go-Go. She seemed to have walked in the room right after me. She's another queen, whom I run into sometimes while I'm here. Tonight she's wearing a long purple wig and a silver-colored catsuit.

"Thanks." I reply. I'm Evian- Evian Aqua is my drag name (I'm really creative, I know). My real name is Mason Cadwell, but that doesn't matter so much right now, does it. I look away from Aisha to start taking off my heels. "You look sickening, by the way."

"Thank you!" She drags out the u, "Well, I gotta go back out there again. So, I'll see ya." Aisha says as she exits the room.

There are three other queens in the room, but they're having their own conversation about something that either sounds like some new modern makeup brand, or a very strange and uncommon drug that no one's ever heard of. I would join in on this very powder-talk-extreme conversation, but I'm not really much of a conversationalist; I'm not really social, in general. I mean, to be quite honest, I'm a 23 year old who lives in New York City- one of the busiest cities in the entire world -and I don't have a single friend here. I mean, people try to be friends with me- I guess Aisha is sort of my friend... Acquaintance. But that's really it, for me.

I'm friendless by choice, though; don't get it twisted- it's not that I'm some hateful bitch that no one wants to be friends with. People try to talk to me and hang out with me all the time. I'm just... not sure I want that. Because having friends means trusting people, and trusting people can soon become relying on people, and I don't rely on people. I really can't rely on people.

Although, I suppose there is some value to having friends. Especially if you're a queen. I know that these other girls in the room with me have lots of friends (because I hear them talk about them constantly), and they not-so-coincidentally have a lot more people who come see them perform than I do. And it's not that they're better than me. Oh no, I can dance circles around these girls and at least I sew my outfits right. But they still have more people show up to their shows. Because they invite their friends who tell them to invite their friends, and before you know it, an entire apartment building has come to watch a drunk man in an old, ugly, wig, try to lip sync. Which makes their booking fee (and demand) higher than mine and makes people watch them more than me.

So, yeah, in that sense, having friends is great for a drag queen. But not me.

Even though, I can't help but feel a little inferior to those other queens with the better money and better wigs- everything. Just a little bit. But, I like things in my life to be just as they are now.