Full Circle

Chapter 4 - Park

Double update this week! This is one of my favorite chapters in my drafts. Hope you feel the conflicting emotions I'm trying to establish. ☺

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Wayo POV

I've been walking for quite some time now. I know I should have arrived at my dorm already since it isn't that far from the Science faculty. Hmm, that's weird. I finally take my eyes off the ground and look up. Sigh, Wayo, you aimlessly walked to this place again.

Here I am, unconsciously taken to the park by my feet. I look around me and I can remember everything. The trees are where they're supposed to be. The benches are still in place. The pond is still as calm as before. It's the same park, but it's not. This park is so... dead.

It's not as green and beautiful as when P'Pha and I frequented this place. Everything is so bland now. Maybe because it's P'Pha who used to make the place beautiful. It's when I was with him that everything seemed so perfect. But now, it feels like all the colors have been sucked out, and, once again, I revert to the cold, gray world I was living in before P'Pha painted it with his love.

P'Pha used to take me to this park whenever we wanted to be alone together. Very few people go to this place, so, often times, we had it all to ourselves. We would sneak out from our friends and run here laughing at our naughtiness. He would hug me and kiss me when I'm not looking and I would playfully hit him for stealing kisses. He would tell me how much he loves me while we're sitting in one of the benches, daydreaming of our future together.

It was in this place where he told me he wants to become one of the best doctors so he can help other people and put up his own R&D organization, but most of all so that he can make me proud. He told me that my validation is all he ever wants and needs. It's all he ever aspires.

Not all memories here are sweet though. I remember we argued in this park. No one backed down. My pout didn't even work that time. I wasn't having it his way and neither was he with mine. It got so frustrating that I almost cried. The manly man that he is, P'Pha wanted us to live in a minimalist condominium with glass walls right smack in the middle of the city after we graduate. Pfft. I wanted a cute little Victorian house with a big garden in the outskirts of Bangkok. Who doesn't want a big garden where we can hold picnics and bbq parties? Hmpft! The only thing that saved us from going to bed annoyed with each other was we both wanted to get a cute beach house for when we retire. But I guess none of those matter now, do they?

It was also in this park that I would sometimes play with kids when P'Pha and I chanced upon them. I would run around and chase them, and they would do the same to me.

There was even this one time P'Pha made the kids cry. The kids caught up to me and jumped at me all at the same time. I stumbled and fell to the grass while they all hugged and tickled me. Jealous as always, P'Pha snatched me away and carried me to the nearby bench while glaring at the kids. P'Pha checked my arms and noticed there were a few scratches that were bleeding, maybe due to the fall and the rolling in the grass. He wiped them clean and kissed them. Afterwards, he stood up and scolded the kids, making all of them cry. P'Pha can get really scary when he's mad. I know he was just being protective of me, but how can you blame those children? It wasn't their intention. I slapped his shoulder and scolded him, too. There, in that instant, the giant turned into a baby and pouted at me with sad eyes. Who could resist that, so I just let it slide and kissed him, making him smile again.

One park visit, we reminisced about the incident with the children. So, we discussed if we wanted to have kids in the future. The gentleman that he is, or was, he said that his life is already complete as long as he has me. If I wanted children, he would try his best to be a good parent and provider, but if not, he's more than happy to grow gray with me in our little beach house as we watch the sunrise while sipping our coffee in the porch, with our wrinkly hands entwined, just like when we were still young and madly in love.

Well, at least that's what he said... before.

"Okay, Wayo, it's getting dark now," I tell myself wiping my tears.

"Time to head back to the dorm." I stand up, take a last look at the park, taking everything in, wipe the remaining tears and start walking.

"You'll be okay," I mumble to myself. "Soon."