Shatter Me

Colin's P.O.V.

After Bradley leaves, I chill on the couch. I'm meaning to turn on the TV, but never do. Something about the way Bradley looked back at me as he was leaving chilled me to the bone. Not to mention that flashback that happened in the middle of our conversation. How embarrassing. We were talking about dinner when I slipped into a memory. I was on Arthur's second horse, the one I normally ride, and we (as in the knights, Arthur, and I) were riding through the woods. Something was after us and my heart was pounding with fear, but when Arthur ordered us to stop, I did. He wheeled his horse around to face the beast and drew his sword. The knights followed suit. We waited a few seconds in horrible, tense silence before a pack of Serkets burst from the woods.

"Don't let them sting you!" Arthur shouted. The knights leapt into battle, slicing at the monsters. I watched, my eyes following Arthur's every movement, waiting for the moment when I would be needed. There! A Serket had made its way behind Arthur and raised it's stinger. The familiar surge of power and a slight burning in my chest rose up and my eyes glowed yellow. The beast screeched and shriveled into dust. And then, just as quickly as the battle had started, it ended. The knights regrouped.

"Well done, Merlin. Hiding in the back like a coward, as always," Arthur spoke in a condescending tone before I was snapped back to reality.

I'm sure Bradley must think I've got some sort of mental problem, blanking out like that. But that's not exactly what I'm thinking about at the moment. My mind keeps going back to when Bradley had asked me if he knew me before we met at the restaurant. My heart throbbed with an ache I had become used to over the years and I sighed.

"It's not really him," I mumbled to myself. "It's not him." Just then the doorbell rang. I sprang up and looked through the peephole. A pang of fear jolted up my spine, just as it always does when I look at Katie before I realize it's not Morg- well, never mind. I open the door and smile, but I'm sure she can tell it's faked.

"Hey, Col, what's up? Was that Bradley I just saw leaving?" She asks, straight to the point. I nod.

"Yeah," I say and Katie walks in. "You want some leftover spaghetti?" I offer. She shakes her head.

"Nah, I just had some wonderful Greek food with a not-so wonderful date."

"A date? Katie, you didn't tell me you had a date tonight!" I exclaim. She blushes.

"I figured it wouldn't go anywhere, and I was right. It won't," she explains.

"Well, tell me about him," I say.

"His name is Rupert, and he's nice and all, just not my type I suppose," she states vaguely. I raise my eyebrows but decide to let it go.

"Come on," I say and we go into my bedroom where we lay on my bed and talk about meaningless things. Then she surprises me.

"Colin, do you ever get the feeling that something's not right?" She asks. I freeze.

"What do you mean?" I ask hesitantly.

"I dunno. Sometimes I just feel like I used to be different, like bad different. It's just these feelings I get sometimes of overwhelming anger, like nothing is fair, but I don't even know who the anger is directed toward, and then it goes away. What do you think it could be?" I think a bit before replying.

"I'm not sure, Kate. It's probably nothing," I say. She pauses a long time, probably wondering why I called her Kate instead of Katie.

"Yeah, you're probably right," she mutters finally and the conversation is over.

Katie decides to spend the night so I set up what's soon to be Ar...Bradley's room and she settles down with a book on the myth of the Old Religion, which leaves me with an unsettled feeling in my stomach.

Could she really be her? And that man that was with Bradley at the restaurant...Gwaine? No... It's impossible, I think. But the Dragon said...No. Killgarah was lying. That's all.

I change into some pajamas and get into bed, shutting off the lamp on the table beside my bed. My dreams that night are stranger than they've been in a while. And frightening too. I see him. He walks with a sword at his belt, his dark hair glistening with sweat, a triumphant gleam in his eyes.

"You have failed, Emrys," Mordred says. "Albion is no more. It's my turn to rule. Justice will be served. Killing Arthur was just the first step."

"But, you're dead," I don't speak, but somehow I do anyway. "Yes, Albion is gone, and so is Arthur, but that was 900 years ago. You're too late, Mordred." He laughs.

"Is that what you think? Look around you! Who is it, sleeping in the room across the hall? Would you not say that's Morgana? Are Arthur and Gwaine not the people you ran into at that restaurant? Face it, Merlin. You're world is about to get a whole lot messier. This perfect facade you've built for yourself is going to crumble. Fires will burn. My time is coming, and you will not be there to see it, I promise you that," Mordred's voice fills up the barren valley we stand in.

"Promises are dangerous things," I say, but it sounds weak. Mordred's expression softens.

"Oh you poor boy. You thought you could move on. I'm truly sorry. Sorry for how foolish you've been," he spits and thrusts his sword hilt deep into my chest. My scream rips the world and I wake, gasping for air. Sweat plasters my hair against my face. My heart is beating a thousand times a minute. Then I see Morgana standing over me, a determined look in her eyes, and I can't help it, I shriek.

"Colin, it's okay, it's just me," Katie says. My eyes widen.

"Katie! I'm so sorry, I thought you were someone else...you look exactly like her..." I trail off. Katie frowns.

"Who?" She asks, but I stay silent. "Fine, don't tell me. At least drink this," she hands me a glass of ice water and I take it gratefully. "So what was your dream about?"

"My dream? Oh...I don't remember," I lie, and I can tell she knows it, but she lets it go.

"Well, if you want to talk, I'm here," she says. I nod, but I know I won't be talking to her about much of anything any time soon. My dream has me thinking that she really might be Morgana, reincarnated, and that thought scares me so much, my hand shakes and I drop the glass of water. The glass shatters and I'm swept into another memory.

"Merlin, you idiot!" Arthur shouts. I'm standing in his chambers over a broken vase I dropped.

"I-I'm sorry, My Lord," I stutter. It's one of the king's bad days. He woke up this morning to discover someone murdered a kitchen maid.

"Just clean it up," he says, his anger fading into sadness. I've seen this happen before, and it's always when he's thinking of his father. Ever since Uther's ghost told Arthur what a screw-up he was, Arthur's been a bit strange.

"Sire, if I may?" I ask. He nods in consent and I sit next to him, as if I'm a friend rather than a servant. "Arthur, he loved you. He really did. In fact, I think you might've been the only thing Uther did love. You can't dwell on what the dead say. It won't do you any good." Arthur looks at me.

"What do you know about the dead?" He asks bitterly. I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from explaining everything I've had to do that involves dead people. I hesitate before placing a hand on Arthur shoulder.

"Nothing," I say. "But I do know that it'll get better. You're a great king, whether your father sees that or not, and I will follow you to the end of the world and back." Arthur stares at me, dumbfounded.

"You know, you really do surprise me sometimes, Merlin," he admits. "Now, clean up that vase before I have you in the stocks!" I scramble to pick up the pieces of the broken ceramic and find myself in my house again, sitting with Katie.

"I'm sorry, Katie," I sigh and bend down to clean up my mess.

"Here, let me," she says and starts to scoop up the glass.

"Katie, be carefu--"

"Ow!" She exclaims. A thin stream of scarlet blood drips from her finger.

"Katie! Here, let me help you," I offer her my hand to help her up and she looks up at me, a fierce look in her eyes.

"Merlin!" she hisses savagely, and then faints.