A.N.
if you are easily triggered don't read. i wrote this myself and if i let it get to me i even am triggered.
I turn the t.v. on just for the white noise. that way i don't feel crazy running in circles in my mind. so it actually looks like i'm doing something. i already know thinking is dangerous for someone like me. disturbing thoughts filll my mind. my mnd starts to race. as always one thought crosses my mind giving me the answer to keep the rest quiet. i try to push it out of my mind. the thought just repeating itself until i finally give in to my sweet relief. i start to dig in my purse for my blade.... my hand starts to tremble under the weight of my preicous friend. my skin slowly starts to tingle waiting for the bite. i brign my metal down to my skin and swipe quikly exhaaling at the same time. ascarlet beads start to form. i don't really focus on the pain... sometimes the pain alone isn't even enough... all i feel is numbness. so the blood is what brings me back down to earth... the blood is what keeps my mind quiet.but i soon relize that one cut isn't enough my mind starts to race going faster than before. so i keep swipping and swiping. i close my eyes taking in the pain first. i stop and all i hear is silence. i exhale and slowly open my eyes. i look down at my new battle wounds and the red scarlet ribons flowing down my arm. my mind is frozen in time. thoughts draining out along with blood i feel at ease as i slowly come down from my cutters high.. i take a deep breath then clean myself up. i put my lovely tools away. then turn to see my now clean rime scene i smile... you would never know that i would havealmost bled to death several times on this very spot. finally i nblast to radion and crash and goto sleep.
