Is it really such a surprise I view the world so coldly and hatefully? People complain I'm cold, rude or unapproachable and whatever, people think I'm a bad person. But did anyone ever apologise for making me this way? Not once. Whatever damage is done to my once bubbly personality is irreversible. There was a time in my life where I loved life and everything about it, but now all that's left of me is a fake smile and a shattered heart.
Now of course I wasn't always a misanthropist, people made me this way. The bad experiences of other people's true colours have affected me. Imagine being stalked, imagine being afraid to leave your house In case you see the person, imagine having your heart broken. But not only did this person break your heart, they completely destroyed you inside. They destroyed your trust. They made you feel unsafe. Imagine what it must feel like to leave your house every day terrified of harassment or assault.
But even though you're traumatised, imagine you think you find one person, the person you pour all of you trust into, the person who makes you feel secure, loved safe and happy. They held your heart. Now imagine that person holds your heart, they hold it tight. But then before you know it, they Crumble it between their fingers. However, before they shifted it to 1000 pieces, they played with it, Treating it as a useless junk from the toy shop, your last bit of trust, hope, love, destroyed.
However, even though my heart is as ebony as the night skies, There is still some light there. That light is usually the only reason I'm still around, that light is the very last person I can trust. That light, Is the only reason I get out of bed, that Light has
its own special place in whatever is left of this dim heart of mine.
That light, is my best friend.
She is the only person that sees me for who I really am, regardless of everyone else viewing me in a negative light. No although mine seem like a misanthropist, it is most likely unfair to accuse me of being a complete one, because there's always being one person; one person who I can't hate nor dislike. The very last person I love and appreciate.
Please don't judge me all you view me as a bad person if I just don't want to speak, I don't want to hang out, please don't take it personally; if I could change I would.
