Ryan's pov
Another summer day. Just writing lyrics. Wow... 5 years ago today I left Panic! with Jon to form The Young Veins. From the moment Jon told Brendon and Spencer that we wanted to leave, I questioned my decision. Yeah, The Young Veins was fun while it lasted. But god, I miss Panic. I miss Brendon's lips on mine every night even though it was just "stage gay". He never felt the same. It was all just for show. A few weeks before I left, I decided to confess my love for Brendon...
*Flashback*
I knocked on Brendon's door early in the morning. We lived together in an apartment so we could always be together for writing and such. "Hey Bren..? Can I talk to you please? Just for a minute. Its important." I asked him through the door.
"Uhh.. Yeah dude just a second. Let me put pants on." Brendon replied
A few minutes later he walked into the living room. "What's up man?" He asked sounding concerned
"Brendon... I.. I love you. I've loved you for almost 5 years. I know you don't feel the same, and you have been dating Sarah for a while.. But I just needed to get that out." I somehow managed to get that all out without crying.
"Ryan, I'm sorry.. But I'm not even gay. Sorry Ryan." Brendon said sympathetically
I got up and ran down the road twords Jon's house. I ran as fast as I could with tears streaming down my face. I hear Brendon yell at me from our apartment window "Ryan come back here!!" That only made me want to run faster.
Within 5 minutes I got to Jon's. I rang the door bell a few times. I could hear Jon running down the stairs. Soon enough he swung open the door and I collapsed into his arms crying. He pulled me in and asked "Dude what the fucked happened? Are you okay?"
"I told Brendon that I love him and now he probably hates me!! I can't go back Jon... I can't." I stopped crying but my face hurt. I wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.
"Well you don't have to.. You can leave. I'll leave with you. We can say that it's for creative differences. And we'll start our own band." Jon suggested, trying to cheer me up.
I went back to Brendon and I's apartment only to pack my things. Thank god he wasn't home. I left nothing in my room but my bed. Jon said I could stay with him. He told me that he would take care of him and I leaving situation. It took a lot of arguing from what Jon told me, but finally after two weeks, Panic announced Jon and I leaving. Was that a good decicion?
*end of flashback*
Well It's getting dark now. So I guess I'll head inside. I lay down on my bed, questioning life. I belong in Panic! And nowhere else. But I've been replaced. There's no point in trying now. Plus I'm still hoplessly in love with Brendon. He's married and not gay. Why do I have to have to be in love with him? Why not someone else? Ugh...
I text Spencer. I hope his number hasn't changed in the past five years.
Hey dude, It's Ryan.
I'm laying here now... Just crying. Over a band I was in five years ago and over a guy that probably forgot I exist.
I feel a buzz in my pocket Hey Ryan. What's up man? We haven't talked in forever.
I reply with Uhh nothing really. I miss you though. come over sometime?
I get a quick response of Yeah! Be there tomorrow at noon.
Brendon's pov
Today the divorce papers went through for Sarah and I. Thank god. I hate her. She fucking cheated on me! Maybe I'll go over to Spencer's...
*The next morning*
I get in my car after packing everything of mine up. I drive over to Spencer's house. Once I get here, I see him heading for his car. I jump out of my car
"Hey Spence! The divorce papers went through. But I'm out of a place to live.. Can I stay here?" I ask him
"Yeah! Of couse Bren. But I'm about to leave so now's not good. You can come with me if you want though." He says
"Where are we going?" I ask while getting into his car
"Ryan... Ryan Ross.. His place." Spencer answers
"Oh.. Um.. Okay.." I can feel a knot forming in my stomach. I haven't seen him in over five years. What if he hates me? The last conversation I had with him he told me that he loved me. I told him that I didn't feel the same. But in reality, I was just scared of my feelings for him and being actually gay. Well, bisexual. So I dated Sarah, married her, divorced her, and ended up forgetting all about Ryan until now.
After what seems like forever, we're finally here. Spencer parks and we both get out and we walk up to Ryan's door. He answers and says "Hey Spenc--- Brendon?" He loos upset. Maybe this wasn't a good idea..
