todobaku

square 66- look what ya girl wrote

A/n: yes i wrote a oneshot

Basically: Todoroki and Bakugou trolling trespassers with their security system

"Todoroki and Bakugou trolling the world" by Tsusuda

incident 1, september 15.

"Wait, no, lemme do it this time, I have an Idea." Todoroki said, putting a hand over Bakugou's mouth.

Yes, some bastards are at their door at the moment wearing hoodies. But the moment they stepped on the porch they were DOOMED.

The security system was installed into their house after a second attempted break-in. They live in an area where crime isn't unusual, and most of the time the families are too poor to afford a security system.

Either way it was still funny as hell to scare them off.

"Get ready to activate the laser." Todoroki took his hand off of Bakugou's mouth and rubbed them together, grinning as he picked up the microphone.

"VITAL ALERT. TRESPASSER(S) DETECTED ON PROPERTY. MANDATORY EXTERMINATION OF ALL NON-IMPRINTED BIOTICS WITHIN PERIMETER. THREAT LEVEL ADJUSTMENT. PROBE, EXPUNGE." He said in a monotonous robot voice, and he watched on his phone as the robbers scrambled around in confusion.

Bakugou pressed a button on his phone, which activated a red laser pointer. It wasn't any dangerous, of course, but obviously these guys would probably think it was real. He moved the laser around a bit, and one of the robbers screamed as it got close to him. One of them grabbed the other and they started running.

"PFFT." Bakugou started laughing his ass off. "Next time, can I yell "RELEASE THE HOUNDS!"?"

After Todoroki stopped laughing, he smiled. "Anything ya want, hun." 

incident 2, october 31.

Bakugou and Todoroki decided to be little bitches and scare little children away from their house on Halloween. They put a bowl of candy outside their house and a sign saying "take only 1", and if they took more than 1 for each person, Bakugou and Todoroki would scare them.

"Another one's coming." Bakugou pointed out, getting his phone out and searching up sound effects.

"Hmm.. They're older, so they might take more." Todoroki leaned back on his chair.

"I'm gonna scare them this time." Bakugou grinned evilly, taking the phone into his hands.

The kids discussed some things together for a moment, before they decided to take a few candies each. Bakugou turned on the radio option and said, "Oh my, what do we have here?"

The kids looked around, confused, then Bakugou spoke again, "Naughty kids taking more than one candy to eat?! How does getting eaten instead sound?" 

One of the kids put their candy back into the bowl, before running away. They were followed by the other kids, which left Bakugou laughing in his seat.

"Next time let's act like yanderes." Todoroki proposed, clearly amused.

And then later on, when all the kids were gone, they took the half-filled bowl of candy and ate it for themselves. 

incident 3, december 29

And yet again, people are trying to rob them again. It wasn't their fault that their house was more expensive than the others.

"Wow, on Christmas?" Bakugou deadpanned, typing up a gunshot sound effect on his phone.

Todoroki turned on the radio. "Merry Christmas you filthy animals." 

Bakugou played the gunshot sound effect, and one of them accidentally stabbed their knife into another person's arm. 

"And a happy new year." Bakugou said, as Todoroki laughed in the background as they dragged the body out of the doorway.

"Ugh, and we have to clean up that blood too." Todoroki leaned on the table.

"And since when did you call people filthy animals?" 

"Since that one time in be-"

incident 4, april 7.

"There's some creepy girl at our door holding a knife." Todoroki pointed to the screen.

"She's the only one with an actual weapon.. Well, aside from that one guy." Bakugou said, dragging a machete behind him.

"She looks like she's mentally insane."

"Well then, let's show her what a crazy couple in love is like."

"Are you doing the yandere thing?" 

"Mhm!" 

The girl was currently picking the lock with her knife. She didn't look as physically strong as the other guys, so it would take her some time.

Todoroki turned on the radio. "Oh my!  Honey, what do we have here?"

"Looks like someone wants to try killing us! Isn't that new and exciting?" Bakugou ran his hand along Todoroki's arm, entangling his hand into the other's.

"It is! Isn't it? Shall we use her blood to paint our walls? I think red would look lovely with our curtains."

"No, that seems too cliche. What about use her dried up nerves to spell out a message to anybody who dares trespass on our lovely home again?" Bakugou giggled for emphasis. (why)

"That sounds desirable. Her tears probably taste like poetry." 

The girl had stopped picking the lock, and she turned to look straight at the hidden camera.

She just stared at the camera, as if she were unsure of what to say. She shrugged, knife in her hands before grinning. She skipped away from the house without another word.

"Maybe she approves of our craziness or something, dunno." 

"Well, she was the only one who actually posed a threat. Maybe we should report this to the police." 

"I'm surprised nobody tried to report us to the police yet."

Bakugou got up from his chair, holding the machete over his shoulder. "Well, I'm hungry. I'm gonna go cook some food, then maybe we can do stuff later." 

He winked at his boyfriend before walking to the kitchen. 

A/N: :)

i also wrote this in a rush 

i thought of it while watching a vid so i decided to make it before i ran out of motivation