Wrists to Hold // Louis Tomlinson

five

sorry this took so long. enjoy! robyn is falling into a dark place. :(

five.

"I brought the ice cream!" Zara chirps, sliding in between her bedroom door with a tall pint of cookies and cream ice cream in her hands. She whips out three spoons with a playful grin. "Let us begin."

Rosemary claps and pats the carpet for Zara to sit in our little circle. I blow on my nails as Zara opens the large carton.

"This looks so good." I grin, taking a spoon and digging into the cold cream.

I can feel myself get larger and larger as I bring the sweet cookie taste into my mouth. The sugar makes my taste buds dance, but I know I will feel worthless by the time I leave tomorrow morning. The cycle never seems to end. 

"Louis looks so good. Don't you think?" Zara hums, sucking on her spoon while I choke on my ice cream.

"Can I have two scoops of Louis Tomlinson?" Rosemary jokes. "To go, please."

"I don't want Louis Tomlinson." I whine, staring at my licked clean spoon.

"Who doesn't want Louis Tomlinson?" Zara snorts.

"This girl. This girl, right here!" I say, raising both of my hands for emphasis.

"And that's why you only have two friends."

"That's not even a valid point."

"Plus, Zara, we're the only people you hang out with." Rosemary says bluntly.

"Oh. About that." I said softly, grabbing Zara's attention. "Your mum pays me by the hour."

"Shut up!" She says, as we all erupt into laughter. She pushes me over and it only makes me laugh harder. Rosemary shakes her head, when I can finally speak again.

"You two are insane." She says.

"That's why we're a perfect match." I coo at Zara, wrapping my arms around her neck in a fond embrace. She squeezes me back, her coffee colored arms making me feel warm.

Zara is comfortable in her own skin and that is what makes her beautiful. I wish I had that trait. It is one that I never seemed to inherit.

I guess that is why I cut my skin sometimes and I do not feel sorry. It is not my skin. This is not me. 

At least, I wish it wasn't.

Switch. Click. Click.

"Do you guys have any crushes? Any boys?" I say with a smirk. "Hmm?"

Rosemary shook her head, but she was smiling through her mouthful of ice cream.

"Rosemary's got her eye on someone." I nudge her, and she shakes her head even more. For once I feel like a teenage girl. A real, live, walking, laughing, happy, vibrant, teenage girl talking about high school, teenage boys, and other girls that I hate.

"No. We just share a couple of classes and he's just really nice."

For some reason, I thought of Louis.

In a bizarre way, he was really nice too.

* * *

My time as a teenage girl expired. The clock had struck midnight and the socializing ended. I was Cinderella, running away from the ball. My carriage turned into a pumpkin; my footsmen into mice. I was alone in a pumpkin patch, back to my life as the girl no one cared about.

Unlike most teenage girls, we did not spend the whole night painting our nails and having pillow fights. Rosemary and Zara slept like rocks once the clock hit twelve.