OUR FOREVER NOW

OUR FOREVER NOW (Quilliant Challenge #3)

"Hi, Leah Thompson, right?" asked the tall, slender woman as she let me into her office. It was all white and beige, very clinical. Too clinical.

"Yes, you're Dr. Hamilton, right?" she nodded and grinned at me as she sat down in her chair. I followed her and sat in front of her.

"You look younger than I imagined" I admitted, my old therapist had been almost three times my age, but he was still great.

"I keep getting that actually, I'm just twenty eight" I nodded and smiled at her.

"So Dr. Mark sent me a copy of your file and I've looked at it, and have a pretty basic idea of what you've gone through, but I'd like to hear it from you" I nodded and took a deep breathe.

"I started going to therapy when I was twenty, I was in New York, and the fast life and college it all overwhelmed me. I had tried escaping my past life into a city where no one would know who I was and where I could re-invent myself. But the past kept catching up on me" she scribbled in her pad and looked at me.

"What were you running from?" I looked outside her window and tried to keep my tears at bay.

"I was in high school, naïve and filled with this ideas of what the future would be like" I stopped and cleared my throat. "I fell in love in my junior year, he was the town's sweetheart, promising future, rich family, lovely face and a heart of gold. I have no clue why he fell for me, I was the crazy girl that was always stained with paint and was always into her art projects. But we clicked, and it was perfect" by now the tears were out there. "I got pregnant and we had our baby boy, Tyler, he looked just like his dad. Everything was going great you know, we had our misunderstandings and stuff but it was still amazing, we were a little family, We were about to graduate and with plans and everything" I stopped and tried to calm my tears.

"When Tyler was three months, my boyfriend had to go out of town for a football match and he would stay over in a hotel with the team. We had this little apartment and I was left alone with Tyler. I fell asleep with him next to me in bed and I just, I don't remember how" I stopped and cried myself out, it hurt too much to relive what had happened that night.

"You can cry, let it all out Leah" she soothed as she moved next to me and held my hand.

"I woke up because of an ear splattering scream, and when I looked down Tyler had fallen from the bed and he was in the floor, blood was surrounding his tiny head and I went crazy, I called 911 and they arrived. I prayed all the way to the hospital and I kept looking at my little baby and I just couldn't think how I had let that happen" I closed my eyes, living the moment again, the sirens the honking, the paramedics saying things I didn't understand and the constant sound of my heart pounding in my ears.

"My boyfriend came and we sat there waiting for hours and hours. Two days later we were burying our baby and it was all my fault. Tyler had internal bleeding from the impact and they couldn't do anything to save him. My relationship started getting worse with every day. He claimed he didn't think it was my fault but I could see it in his eyes, he blamed me, I blamed myself too. By graduation I packed my stuff without him knowing and fled the town. I got a scholarship in an art school in Manhattan and I tried to change my life, be someone else."

"Did you ever contact him again, or see him?" I shook my head. "So, I got married to a guy I met in collage and changed my last name, it lasted about eight months before we were divorced but I kept the name and then I did everything in my power to avoid anyone from my past life, including my parents"

"And what brought you into this town, I would think the big city would be better to keep your cover" I smiled and nodded.

"I needed a breather. I have an art gallery back in the city and I've moved past all that went wrong, obviously I still think of my baby every single day" I smiled and looked at her "He would be eight this year" she smiled sadly and I knew I sounded crazy or stuck on the past. And no I'm not, I live, I laugh and I enjoy every minute of it, but I lost my two greatest loves, and I'm the one to blame.