Memories of my mirage....

Lost

It was a usual day in our life. Zum was working late as usual and I prepared his favorite dish. I was watching a movie but my mind was on Zum. Usually he would give me a call if he were to return that late so I decided to call him. After several rings he answered and told he would be late till one. So I decided to wait till he come. I was constantly looking at the watch and it was half past one when he returned. He looked like he was really tired. I warmed him his dinner and he ate in silence. I was worried. Something told me he was not alright.

Atlast I broke the silence. I asked Zum what's wronge. He held my hand and took me to bed. When we were both seated he looked into me and told me that whatever he was goin to tell me now was going to hurt me very much. I was really surprised. Part of me wanted to know what it was while the other wanted to tell him to keep quiet. He told me that he really thought hard how to break the news to me but whatever way it was it would not make a difference and he wanted to tell me the truth..I hadn't ever expected to hear whatever he was about to tell me.

He was beginning to get nervous and it was making me panick. And then the words came out...the words which I would never want to hear. He told me he didn't love me and he had never really loved me. So simple as that but it came out like a wild storm shattering my heart , my souls, my life, my everything. Why...why...why did he do this to me.i had so many questions. Instead of asking him any I broke down into uncontrollable sobs. Why would he marry me. Why would he act as if he cared,as if he really loved me. I could not believe this. Just in one second everything I had built in my life ,my dream ,my perfect home ,was crushed like a small bird in a hurricane.

I felt as if the sky was falling over my head. Zum held me in his arms trying to comfort me. Why would he want to do this. Why is he trying to calm me. He was crying with me as well. Making everything so confusing to me. We both cried till we had no tears. I refused to believe what he was telling. But he told me it was the truth. And I had no choice but to accept it. I had been such a fool. I had believed that he loved me as much as I loved him and all those years what was he doing. Why would he lie. What did he want from me. I needed answers. But I didn't get any. I was lost.