If My Thoughts Were Heard By You

15th of June

I really hate my family.

My father yells at me

My sister assaults me most of the time

My mother just guilts you into not guilting her into getting your way.

They all get me frustrated and then act like it's my fault for yelling or being frustrated.

I'm sick of everything

Them and everything else

I feel totally rejected

I wish it was all different

I'd change my family, change things I've done, keep my friends, change parts of my personality.

I hate it when I get frustrated, trying to calm me down or act calm just makes me want to yell or punch something, it makes me feel like I'm the crazy one for acting like this.

I hate it when I feel some ways I do, I'd change my feeling for some people and stop accidentally hurting people

I can tell when I hurt someone, but it never seems like when I do it that it should hurt them. It makes me feel like a terrible person for thinking they're just well, wimps XD I really don't know how else to put that. But that's only sometimes.

Other times when I hurt people I just want to just of a cliff or drown myself in my potato and leek soup.

When I feel and emotion and go deep and really, get into that emotion. I used to pretend my dolls brother had died and I'd actually cry. I can feel pain, even if it's not real or someone else's. It affects me, deep down.

I feel like I'm the crazy one, I feel like I'm the alien, everything I do isn't normal, everything I feel no one understands or can figure out. I'm just not normal.

I don't know why I'm like this.

But I hate it