What do you think of this excerpt?

Okay, I'm working on a futuristic story and I'm looking for feedback before I actually begin to write it. I'm not finished with it. I just want to know how it all sounds, so please take the time to read the summary:

Clari Faye is your average futuristic girl, coping with the loss of her sister in the city Draven which is in the country Latonia. When suddenly her world is twisted upside down by raiders who call themselves Magpie's - which are known for raiding rich countries. Clari's parents are killed in the raid from the magpie's. Will Clari ever be alright?

I also have a little bit written, but only like a page in my notebook or so.

When they take the cloth off my head, I take notice of my new surroundings other than the sound of splashing water from a nearby lake - bright vibrant colors filled the outdoor space around me. The grass was an assortment of colors ranging from olive green to an yellow green color. Vibrant red and yellow tulips were planted in the ground next to a bench that my sister's name was carved into. The lake which we would always play in as kid's sat in front of it. The aroma around us smelt of nature, cleansed and fresh unlike in our city where it's a musky smell. Nature, unlike a city, made me feel peaceful and free.

Tears of sadness and joy began to run down my cheeks. "It's beautiful."

Memories of her come flowing back into my thoughts. Memories of our conversations, memories of coming to this lake to swim, memories of sneaking away, memories of everything we've done together.

"I miss her." I say to my family.

My mom and dad pull me into a group hug and we stand there and cry in what we have named "Victorique's Garden." Her garden will now remain a secluded place outside the city Draven, where we've always lived.

Once we are done morning my sister, Victorique, we head back home to Draven's gates and sneak through the little hole that my parent's have made. It's strictly forbidden to leave Draven without a reasonable explanation so my family made a hole in the ground right behind our house.

And that's all I have so far, what do you think?