letters for my twin // marcus & martinus

the concert pt1

i take a deep breath. the doors are now opened, fans are getting in the arena. i'm going to start in one hour.

i look at the piece of paper next to me. i want to write another letter, but no words seem to come out to the paper.

"five minutes marcus." marte says. i give her a small smile and get up from my chair. i walk out of the dressing room after her.

"go stand there, we will give you a clear sign when you go up. you remember the setlist?" someone says and points where i'm gonna stand.

"yes, first is heartbeat, then plystre på deg, after that love yourself and last is together." i say.

one minute. breathe marcus. you can do this. do it for martinus. i look down at my feet and take a few deep breaths.

the lights at the arena go out, there's only one spotlight on which is pointing at me. i'm walking down the stage with a microphone in my hand.

i'm squeezing it really hard. everyone is screaming. i get to the front of the stage and look around. you can do this.

"hello oslo." i say. people start screaming again. i crack a small smile. "i'm saddened to be performing without martinus, but you deserve this for being here with us, and me through everything. thank you."

i take my seat and carl-viktor sits to the one next to me. he gives me a smile and i smile back. he starts playing his guitar and i start singing.

the first song went well. of course it's not the same without martinus. but i don't have a choice.

i sit by the piano and put my microphone at its stand. i start playing the melody to plystre på deg. usually i have been the one standing next to my twin while he plays the piano.

i start singing. i have nothing in my head, just the words of the song. i get through this one too.

"okay guys, the next song is really special. it's something you have loved hearing, and so have i. this is, love yourself." i say to the microphone. i don't play this one myself, i just sing.

i'm putting all my energy to this song. i'm performing it acoustically but still. this song means so much to me and i know how much it means to the fans too.

"i need a small break, sorry." i say when i finish the song. i run backstage trying to make it seem like i just need water.

i leave the stage from the side and gesture to someone to close my microphone. five people immediately gather around me asking what's wrong. i just tell them i needed a small break.