Love, not love

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I just smile, while my heart is overwhelmed with joy

Hiding, how happy it made me to look in those deep blue eyes

My lips glued together for the fear of loosing what I have

Let's be "just friends" for that won't cause the rejection and pain that follows

So I swallow my feelings when my heart is being more than just friends

And I pretend my heart doesn't ache

with your smile

with your slight brush of hand

with your moody walks

with you holding someone else's hands

I am ripped across my self sewed seams, everyday

I sew them back with my all wrong logics

And by the end of it, I still believe I am not doing it right

I reproduce my wrongs and try to be happy in every way

Even when I know I am not.

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