Log 6: The Deep Sea

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Blue eyes,
Icy enough to pierce right through me,
So I slip and fall through the cracks,
Plummeting deep,
Into your freezing waters.

I can't breathe,
Slipping further below the surface,
I must have forgotten how to swim.
Now you've got me drowning,
And I'm doing nothing to stop it.

I'm outside of myself,
Watching from above the water,
Realizing how stupid I was to let you do this to me,
Realizing I keep putting the blame on everyone else,
Realizing I'm just doing this to myself,
And I'm still doing nothing to stop it.

I've surely got hypothermia by now,
But that doesn't stop you from saving me,
I watch as you dive through the hole I created,
Hoping you'll be able to rescue me.

But that's the thing,
You'll never be able to fix me.

I get myself into these situations
Not worrying about the consequences
Not worrying about who it will affect
Not worrying about anyone else but myself
I'm trying to change
But people never really change,
No matter how hard they try.

So I ask myself why,
Why did you do this?
And I'll never be able to answer it.

You've pulled me out by now,
Breathing heavily,
I lay there motionless with you over me,
Watching your chest's rapid movements,
Watching you stare at the gaping hole,
Only noticing now how much damage my small body can create,
I see the fear in your eyes as you look back at me,
But you still manage to tell me "it's fine,"
You pick up my shivering body,
And carry me away from the chaos,
Taking me farther from the cold,
Taking me farther from the pain,
Taking me farther from the darkness.

But I know this isn't the end.
I know The Deep Sea will come for me again,
Because the hole will keep getting bigger,
Keep begging for me to return,
And before you have the chance to retrieve me,
It'll have frozen over.

So I'll look into those blue eyes as you keep walking me to safety,
And I'll smile,
Knowing that even though if those were what sent me into my decent,
I'll never get sick of looking at them,
No matter how cold I am,
They'll make me warm.

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