Asymptote (bxb)

Chapter 12: The Ending before the Beginning

I couldn't sleep that night. It was two AM and I was still roaming the house, loathing myself. I was supposed to pick my parents up from the airport at five, so there was no point in sleeping now.

I had a chance. A chance to be in a normal, healthy relationship. And I hadn't even considered it because I was already in a relationship. A fictitious relationship with a boy who wanted me when it was convenient. He would ignore me until he could feel me slipping through his fingers, and then he would draw me back. I thought he needed me, that I was helping him. At what cost?

So, at two in the morning, as I was biting on my thumb nail until it bled, in the dead silence of my suburban neighbourhood, I thought: maybe, just maybe, it was time to be selfish.

I spun my phone on the granite counter top, watching until it stopped. Over and over. I wrapped the blanket on my shoulders tighter around myself as I opened up my messaging app, typing.

New Message

To: Cian CoffeeGuy

Hiya.

I'm sorry, about tonight. And not texting you earlier. I've just been dealing with some things. I would like to hang out some time, if you still want to.

Bailey

Delivered

I gripped my phone tightly, re-reading the message over and over. This is probably what he would wake up to. Was it too straightforward? Was it weird to say I was dealing with something? What if he just chose to find someone normal instead?

Incoming Message

Are you free tomorrow? I finish work at 6pm.

Sent 2:10

My stomach flipped uncomfortably as I started biting my other thumb nail. I let my fingers hover over the keys for a few seconds.

I deserved this. I deserved to be selfish and I deserved to be happy.

But then why did it feel like cheating?

Outgoing Message

I'm free. What do you have in mind?

Delivered

Incoming Message

I like walks, and I believe you owe me a coffee.

Sent 2:13

"Bailey," Gemma spoke from the hallway, flicking on the light, "what the actual fuck?"

I tore my eyes from my phone to look at her. She had her eye mask pulled onto her forehead and her red fox slippers on, her arms crossed in front of her.

"Sorry, Gem. Couldn't sleep."

"Could you at least put your phone on silent?" She pointed angrily and I blushed, turning my ringer off. I hadn't even realized it was on. Gemma was an extremely light sleeper. She used earplugs most of the time due to my mother's snoring, and could only sleep if it was pitch black in the room or she was completely exhausted.

She had seemingly gave up sleeping though, as she walked over to pull open the fridge just as my screen lit up again.

Incoming Message

I could pick you up at 7. Or we could meet somewhere if you want.

Sent 2:16

Outgoing Message