Brandon's Notebook (A TMMM Bonus Material)

Journal 9: Nothing Else

A/N: Hello everyone! Here's another entry from Brandon's Notebook, covering Ch. 8 The Other Parties. I'm finding that writing his thoughts on the events that happened in TMMM isn't as easy as it seemed because now there's all this back story to fill, to shape their motivations and actions. But at least, it offers us a glimpse of things we wouldn't really have known just from Charlotte's POV. 

Hope you like it!

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Saturday was the first day since I came back from my trip that I spent apart from Charlotte. 

It was Gerard Raleigh's birthday that day. He and Jake got along better because Gerard could be a bit of an ass sometimes and he didn't appreciate it every time I said so but since Jake was still in Bangkok, I had to go on his behalf. We played an afternoon of golf with a few other guys and then met up for drinks at the VIP lounge in Square 10, the same bar Gerard's brother owned. 

When I showed up, Gerard, already half-drunk, asked where my 'fiancee' was and I told him pointedly that I didn't bring her with me because he said it was going to be a guys' night out and since he was the birthday celebrant, I respected his wishes. Turned out he was just being a jerk on his birthday because there were more women in that party than men. The whole place had more breasts, legs and thighs than the nearest KFC. 

Normally, I'd enjoy these things. I could appreciate an attractive woman and I didn't mind the attention, even when I knew it would be harmless because it wouldn't go anywhere. But I knew Charlotte would be so pissed if I got splattered all over the tabloids the next day, tangled in the long legs of some brunette bombshell. 

Besides, the whole thing felt... old. Like we've been doing this for years. And we really have if you consider the fact that Jake and I have been charming our way with the ladies since we were twelve. That'd be about seventeen years and God, the thought makes me cringe. That's nearly as long as Charlotte's been alive. Good God. I'd be a paunchy old man with rickety knees while she's still out seducing the male population with her crooked grins and bubbly laugh. 

And I did act like an old man that night, standing around the corner, trying to be dignified, satisfied with the company of my martini. I would've seen the evening through like that if Gerard hadn't ambled forward, already wasted, slung an arm around my shoulders and asked if Simone liked it slow and sweet or hot and rough. I glared at him and he just laughed and asked why I was being greedy.

He said a lot of men were hovering around Simone, waiting to swoop in and offer her comfort after I'd so 'callously dropped her and then shit on her by getting engaged practically the next day to some ditzy gold-digging waitress' (Gerard's own filthy words, that scumbag). 

I shoved him off and told him that if he referred to Charlotte in any manner other than complimentary, I would punch all his teeth out. Next, I told him to stop being such a jackass and maybe he'll get a chance with a good woman like Simone who deserved to be treated better than just his next lucky lay. As I was walking out of the room, Gerard yelled at me to fuck off because if anyone should be railed at for not treating women better, it should be me since I dumped Simone and left her humiliated and brokenhearted.

I didn't stay to face off with Gerard because as crass as he was in his accusation, he was right. Yes, I was a toad for cutting my ties with Simone abruptly and following it up with the announcement of my engagement to the world. In the eyes of others who knew about my relationship with her, yes, my actions would appear crude, brash and utterly selfish. 

It didn't sit well with me. I may have been with many women all these years but I always treated them with respect and fairness. I had a mother, a stepmother and two younger sisters, after all. I may not have been a perfect gentleman with Charlotte in the beginning but I had been under the impression that she was hustling my father. I was now striving to correct my wrongs with her but there wasn't a lot I could do with Simone but ask for her forgiveness and hope she'd understand.