Time To Grow Up

Chapter 11- That's Just The Way It Is

That's just the way it is. Things will never be the same.

2Pac Changes

I sat in the waiting room at the hospital. I know he's dead already but I can't help but hope and pray that this was one of the times God decided to raise the dead. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rocked and I stayed in that position until I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I looked up and saw Tre looking down at me. His face was damp with tears and his eyes were red. I looked away from him and saw Jermayne and Tasha walk into the waiting room. I was still covered in his blood and then I realised something. I'm going to have to explain the to Mrs Michaels. I sighed. He didn't deserve this. He was innocent. He was a good boy, he wanted to do something with his life he was going somewhere and he will never get to see the end of GCSE's, he'll never get to go college or university. He'll never be a dad or get married. His future was stolen from him and it's all my fault. I should've gone to the shop by myself. My eyes were red and I had a headache from all the crying I've been doing. Jermayne walked over to me and spread his arms out wide. I walked into them and broke down completely. I know that all this crying can't be healthy but I never cry. To me crying is a sign of weakness and I never want to be labelled as weak.

He kissed my forehead and held me at arms length. "Nita what the fuck happened tonight? I come home to hear that you and Daquan are on your way to the hospital. Tell me who did it." I sighed. I was drained. I had no more fight left in me. Right now all I'm thinking is fuck this and everything else I can't be dealing with bullshit. "Me and Daquan were going to the shop, I went inside and as I was paying for my things I heard so much shouting. I walked out the shop and saw this group of boys beating Daquan up. There was so many of them and they were fucking him up badly. Then someone shouted that the police was coming and the all ran. I tried to help I really did but there was nothing I could do. He died in my arms. I watched the life drain from his eyes and I watched him die. This is all my fault. I should've asked Tasha to come with me instead. He's gone." Tre looked at me for a minute and the he opened his mouth to speak but decided against it. Jermayne said that it was time we all got home. "Wait no Mayne I have to tell Mrs Micheals. I owe it to her.Please." He just nodded his head. We got into his Black BMW with tinted windows and drove in the direction of Quan's house. Reminding me of all the Times I use to come here after school to have sleepovers. I remembered our first kiss. It was an accident and we vowed never to be anything but best friends. Before it could register in my mind we were pulling up to Mrs Micheals house. Shit. I mentally cursed myself in my mind. How am I going to do this? We walked up to her front door and I knocked. Mrs Micheals opened the door took one look at me and broke down in tears. "Erm Mrs Micheals. This is all my fault I begged him to walk with me to the shop. If it wasn't for my selfishness Daquan would be here right now. I'm so very sorry. Deep down in my heart. I don't blame you if want to hate me. If I was you I'd hate me too. He was your baby and he's gone. I tried to help I really did but I couldn't stop the bleeding." She stopped crying and was just looking at me with silent tears running down her face. "Darling I could never hate you. This is not you fault. In fact this is far from being your fault. You brought out the best in Daquan and to be honest with you I saw this coming. I don't blame you whatsoever, Those hoodlums chose to do this. You didn't make them do anything. It was their own free will, I love you like you were my own daughter. I'm glad that Daquan had you as his best friend. He wouldn't want you to be saying all these things and neither do I. Your smart and beautiful with a good head on your shoulders, you have so many good things coming to you, you wouldn't understand. Everything happens for a reason. You can never get over the pain you just embrace it and make yourself what you and Daquan wanted you to be. Be strong for you, for him and for your daughter. " Her words had me breaking down. She just held me. "Juanita I think it's time you went back to your brother he's getting impatient. Go home and sleep we will talk in the morning. Bye dear" I walked out the house and got back in the car. I looked round the Bach and saw that Tasha was crying silently and that Tre was looking out the window. I sighed, I seem to be doing a lot of that lately.

When we got home  I went straight into the bathroom. I turned the shower on and stripped out of my white blood tinged skinny jeans and my mint green crop jumper and my underwear. I went into the shower and watched as the blood mingled with the blood as it went down the drain. My tears, his blood and the shower water. I waited for a while before actually washing myself. When I had scrubbed myself raw I turned of the shower and walked into my bedroom with the towel wrapped tightly around me. I slipped on my underwear and one of Daquan's shirt with some batty riders. I climbed into bed and stared at the collage Quan made for me in year 5. It was all the pictures of our trip to Wales. I remember when he gave it to me. I laughed silently to myself. Daquan I won't forget you. I won't be able to.

*Two Weeks Later*

It has been two weeks since the murder of Daquan. I don't talk to anyone. I don't eat and I haven't been out of room in two weeks. This cut really deep because Daquan was like my twin. Everything I liked so did he. Today is the day of his funeral and I had no more tears left. I couldn't cry at all. I got ready in red,black and gold, Daquan's favorite colours. I slipped on my tight black midi dress it was boob tube with lace sleeves. I stepped into my red 6 inch heels and put on my thick gold chain and gold watch Daquan got me for my birthday last year. We were born in the same month he was 2 days younger than me though, but he acted older. I put on some red lipstick and stared at myself in the mirror. Jermayne walked into my room "You look really nice Nita. It's time to go, you ready?" I just nodded, this is as ready as I'll ever be.

We pulled up to the church and I walked on everyone came out. People just loved Quan like that he was the best person in the world and he didn't deserve this. The pastor was leading the service and it was time for people to give their speeches. His mum went up and looked utterly broken. I felt so bad. Before I knew it, it was my turn to speak. "Daquan was the greatest person ever. He was the bestest friend anyone could ask for and he was a great uncle to my daughter. It pains me to see that everything we planned for in the future will never happen for him. One of the last things he asked to do was not to forget him and I'm here to say upfront of witnesses that I can never forget Daquan. I remember the first time we met in reception. His first words to me were 'No that's my crayon' and from that moment we were inseparable. On our first day of secondary school he told me that this was the beginning of the rest of our lives, and he was correct it was we went through so much in the five years we've been in secondary school that I would never dare to forget who Daquan was to me. He.was able to make me smile.despite the situation. He was so special to me that I can't bring myself to the realisation that we could never have our talks every night  before we went to bed, I love you Quan and I'll never forget who you are." With those words said I proceeded to make my way

to the pew I was sitting in. As I step down from the pulpit I saw the one person I never thought I would see again and he was holding my baby. I froze. "Well well well never thought you'd see me again did you babe? And must I say that our daughter is beautiful just like her mother. Now we can be a family. I love you." Dhylan is back and he kidnapped my baby.

Dun Dun Duuuuun.

Well I think I deserve a clap. Two chapters in one day. But you know what I want yous lot to do.

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