Longing for the Stars

6. "It's A Wonderful Feeling."

6. "It's A Wonderful Feeling."

Morning sunlight tries it's best to break through my windows, and no matter how I've bolstered my barricade of shades, it pushes itself through like it always does to warn me that I'm going to be late for school.

I toss and turn drowsily, remembering that it's Saturday today, then catch a hint of a dream I had. I can only remember that I was in Toshiro's arms, and that he said, he'd give himself to me... It felt so real.

I blush and shake my head. How pathetic. I guess I wanted that to happen so badly that I dreamt of it.

I sit up and look around my dirty room. My mom always says that I make as much as a mess as my big brother did. I think of how much I actually miss him since he went off to Kyoto for college, but console myself with the thought of him coming home soon for the beginning of summer.

Anyways, it's about time for me to clean it up. Clothes, clothes, pizza box, Toshiro, clothes, ramen bowl, clothes, clothes, Sailor Moon plushies- Oh? Toshiro? I wonder what he's doing here. As expected, he's gorgeous even when he's sleeping. Morning sunlight seems to have one good use-- lighting his beautiful sleeping face with a golden glow. I sleepily yawn. Oh yeah....

Oh yeah... OH YEAH!? I gasp and whip my head from left to right. Are there cameras in here? Is this some kind of joke?! Last night... night... I... confessed... I...

I clamp a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming and scoot away from the edge of the bed. He's sitting cross-legged against the far side of my bed, propped up by the wall and my bed frame. A crack in the shades indeed illuminates his face. His head is nodded and his sword is leaning against his shoulder. As beautiful as a falling snowflake...! I try to hold in my squeal of delight and horror.

My bed is small, so if I lean forward, we're almost face to face. His turquoise eyes are revealed as he lifts his eyelids slowly. "Hetori," he breathes quietly, sleepily. He probably notices my startled, cautious, and down right terrified expression and does something only he can do. Never taking his eyes off of mine, he intertwines his right hand with mine. "Hetori." he repeats firmly, fully awake now.

Through that small gesture I feel a cool relief. It's like he's telling me that what happened last night was real, and that it's okay. It's like all of my fears are gone, thanks to him.

It's a wonderful feeling.

He smiles and opens his mouth to say something, but blushes and covers his face with his hand and looks away.

My face heats up, like a thermometer in boiling water. I retreat, down looking at my suddenly interesting blankets. It seems like forever passes through the silence. Blushing? Why?! Did I embarrass him last night? Was it that bad?! Oh God, why is this so complicated? I just-

I can't take this anymore! We should be... I don't know, more comfortable with each other. I whip my head back to break the silence and our eyes meet.

-I just want to love you!

His eyes are wide with surprise. We had the same idea... Maybe he even thought the same thing that I did at that moment. I giggle out of relief. The situation that we worked ourselves up for is already over. Soon, it's a fit of laughter.

As it dies down, I take a deep breath. "Your smile," I say, stretching my arms over my head. "Is... beautiful. You should show it more often," I say, showing him mine.

His smile stretches into that of a slightly sad one and he gets ready to say something.

An empty roar pierces the air and the mood drops like a rock. His light expression is replaced with his usual serious one. In one swift movement, he's half out of my window. But as he turns to leave he says, "But you've always made me smile, Shogomay-san,"