I didn't think. Couldn't move. I was poised by his side, arms out, mouth open, fingers dangeling, eyes darting around. His eyes met mine. They were clouded with pain. A low moan escaped his lips.
The world around us was frozed, like we were trapped in theis agonizing moment in time. It seemd like no one noticed, no one cares. Until a bone chilling screech from a plump middle aged woman ripped through the silence.
Immediately I foiund myself on my feet, throwing hished reassurances ver my shoulder to LIam. "Ma'am," I said, my tone low and rushed. "I need you to go to that building-" I discreetly lifted a finger toward the BAU office "- and tell them a man had been shot." Her face was pearl white, her gray eyes glazed over, cheeks cherry red, and lips forming a perfect "O". My hand moved to her shoulder, pushing her along. A nod, thrust of the shoulders, another smalled shreik, and she was off.
It felt as if everything was in slow motion. I flung myself thgough the now apparent crowd around Liam. I lunged to his side, tore off my sweatshirt, and pressed it so the bloody hole in his shoulder.
:It's okay, it's okay," I cooed, cradeling his face with my free hand. "Is anybody a doctor?" I yelled to the sea of horrified faces. One burly man in the front flashed my his cell phone. "I called 911." The rest just blinked in return, too petrified to talk yet they stuck around to watch.
Icy fingers surrounded mine. I turned my face to the sickly figure beside me on this slippery park bench. "Liam, you're going to be fine. Help is on the way," I said as soothingly as I could possibly muster.
The lack of adreniline on my behalf was evident now. My whole body began to tremble. I tried my hardest to battle the shivers for Liam's sake.
He blinked furiously in what must have been frustration. "Who?" His voice was almost silent, barely audible through his cracked lips.
Confuson marked my face. "Marcus," he mouthed, regaining his chilly grip on my hand on his cheek.
I understood. "My family."
The crowd was parting. The ear splitting sirens and flashing lights indicated that the paramedics were here. But they weren't along. Derek was there, shoving the crowd. Spencer, too. Aaron. J.J.. Rossey. Emily. Everybody.
I clung to Liam's body. I couldn't leave him. Not like this. Not when he had been meerly a stranger to me - and frankly still was. Not when he had been shot. Not when it was my fault. Blood was still pouring out of his wound, staining the rain. My hand, sweatshirt, and jeans were dripping in it. I knew I should be appauled, shy away from the bodily fluid. But I didn't - couldn't. It was like my rational brain had been disconnected.
Derek was beside me. His hands were and iron chain around my waiste. I tried to fight him, but my energy was fading. The full effect of the present situation hitting me full speed, no mercy, in the face.
He had me ripped from Liam, who was now being transported to the back of the ambulance. Everything else came in flashes.
Me fighting back.
Blank.
J.J. trying to calm me down.
Blank.
Screaming from me.
Blank.
Derek yelling.
Blank.
Office.
Chair.
Tears.
Loud.
Fear.
Marcus.
Nothing.
*****
My eyes opened before I gave them permission to, revealing the office around me. I knew without having to ponder that it was Dereks. But where was he?
Racing heartbeats thundered in my ears. My fingers did a shaky dance until grasping the smooth black arm rests. Pulling the rest of my body uoright took all of a milisecond, resulting in a dizzy head rush.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Spencer stand up. His mouth moved, uttering words that could have only beem "She's awake." He came in first, slowly closing the door behind him.
"Abby," Spencer said softly. He pulled the chair out from behind the deck and perched next to me.
I only cast a glance his way, tugged my knees to my chest, and burying my face in them.
A hand on my shoulder. Trying to comfort, but not helping in the slightest bit.
I refused to cry; refused to speak. At least not to him. I fought the inevitable shivers rocketing through by body. I was something of a puppy in a thunder storm: lost, afriad, and alone no matter how many people surrounded me.
I don't know how long we were frozen like this. But it left me to my thinking, replaying my every move, breath, thought up until he was shot and then over again. The urge to let the tears flood was overwheling when Spencer finally rose from the seat and left.
The silence was horrible. It made me want to run away to somewhere else - anywhere as long as there was noise.
I didn't bother to look out the office window. I knew what they were doing. Talking. About me. About how to get me to talk - explain myself. But I am not some maniac serial killer. I'm not in the giude line book, the rules don't apply to me. Their BAU profiler techniques won't work on me. They cant.
The door opened again. My eeys shot to the ground, a chill running up my spine. I helped my breath. Anticipating Derek's voice, I tensed.
"Abby," a soft female voice cooed. This time I looked up. J.J. gave me a motherly look, placed a hand on my shoulder, then reached to close the gray blinds.
As soon as the rest of the team were out of sight, I lost it. The tears and sobs unable to be reigned in. I was more than positive they were audible from the surrounding offices, but that was the least of my worries.
Half an hour passed before I could manage myself, speak through the sobs. My shoulders shook with every jagged breath I sucked in.
"J.J.," I whispered, looking through soggy eyes up at her.
A tender, loving smile in return.
"I'm afriad."
Her clear blue eyes searched for answers in mine. "You're safe here. He can't hurt hurt you now. You're safe." Her hand continued with the comforting rubbing pattern on my back.
"Not of him," I mouthed, my eyes flashing to the gray blinds of the office window.
She leaned in closer. "Of who?"
My eyes never left the window, just in case.
"Derek."
