A Memoir: My Grandpa

My Grandpa

A/N: This is the memoir I wrote for my non-fiction assignment. I'm really proud of it, and I managed to get a First for it! It's a piece on my experience with dementia in my family.

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My Grandpa

    In my family I'm known as the writer. I'm the only one who writes and creates stories. Everyone else lives on the other side of the book, whereas I create them. However, my Grandpa and Grandma are the ones in my family known as the 'story-tellers'. They'll sit there for hours and hours, telling us old stories of the war, their families and everyone will listen intently. My Grandpa especially, seeing as he was in the RAF and did so much travelling in his life, he has a new story for us every time we go out for dinner! Now it is my turn to give you back what you gave to me, Grandpa, this is my gift to you.

    My Grandparents were there from the minute I was born – however, my Grandpa did take his time, deciding it was tradition to take my Dad out for a whiskey to 'wet the baby's head' – right until this moment. I grew up with them picking me up from school, staying over with them, going on holidays with them, baking with my Grandma and listening to my Grandpa's stories. I suppose that's where I got my writing bug from, listening to everything he used to tell me and wishing to be like he is. I always tell my Grandparent's everything, from my writing to my relationship troubles, and I even chose to go to the college that was a two minute walk from them so I could pop in every day!

    When I moved to University the first time, I hated being apart from them. I phoned them every day, and I used to go back nearly every weekend to see them. It was when I was coming out of a twelve hour shift of placement as a nursing student that I got a phone call to tell me my Grandpa, the one with the brilliant memory of everything and anything, the accountant of the family, had been diagnosed with dementia. It was a horrible thing to hear, mainly because I had worked with dementia patients before, and knew a lot about it, having seen the view of a brain from before a patient had it to the brain in the midst of it, as well as the emotional effects it can have on family and the patient themselves.

I couldn't imagine my Grandpa not being able to remember who any of us were or not telling us the stories he would always tell. It would be a large burden on my Grandma as well, as she would always rely on him for everything. It had become a complete role reversal, as he now relied on her for everything. My Grandpa was, and still is, a character and I didn't want to imagine life with his character being ripped away from us.

    That is why I decided to become their carers when I left my first university and was waiting to come to Winchester, because of all the years of my life they both cared for me and helped shape me into the person I am now. It was now the other way around, and it also meant I could spend as much time as possible listening to the two of them tell me about the war and their lives that most of the family had never even heard before.

    The strange thing about dementia from my experience is that the patient almost reverts to a child-like state. They cling on to people as if they were a comfort blanket. For my Grandpa, those people are Grandma and me. When my Grandma was taken into hospital, we found Grandpa would follow me around the flat, not knowing what to do or what was going on. It is strange how I always think of their home as 'Grandma's' and without her, it seemed both of us were quite lost.

Yet, an almost amazing thing about dementia patients is that their memory is very selective. Grandpa can still remember most things about his childhood, and his travelling, his time in the RAF and when he was in the local town choir. Luckily for me, that means I still get to hear the stories he's saved up and hasn't told me yet.